Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Whinemellon

Seedless watermelon should be seedless dammit!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

healthcare whine

After a decent bloodtest that revealed deficiencies in just about
everything, I finally have Rx and vitamins to address them and I feel
better than I have in YEARS. Screw you all who told me that I was just
depressed when I complained how tired and exhausted I have been.

--

Thursday, June 9, 2011

at the movies

Dear Self Centered Movie Watcher,

Please be aware that the seat back in front of you at the stadium-seating-movie-theater is not for your feet. It doesn't matter if there is no one seated there now. It doesn't matter if your tired. It doesn't matter if your tall. Someone's head will eventually have to sit where your dirty feet are now.

Also, note that though my nose was at least a yard away, I could detect a foul odor reeking from your feet. How it's possible that feet that are completely covered can stink that bad is beyond me. Have you been wearing the same socks all year? That is indeed why I changed seats.

I feel sorry for that blond that went with you. Oh yeah, when you put your stinky feet down, can you also let her know that it is not OK to talk in her living-room voice while the movie is running? On second thought, you two are made for each other.

Next time, will you do us all a favor and wait until the DVD comes out, or learn the difference between the local cineplex and your living room, oh and wash your feet now and then. Remember, change your socks every day.

I can't believe I'm wishing for the days when all I had to complain about at the theater was texting.

Thanks, until never, I hope,
Disgruntled Movie Watcher.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Pretending you're something you're not...

When our sons were in Year Three, I happened to mention to you that if I wanted mine to attend the Church High School from Year Seven onwards, I needed to start attending church regularly now since the priest won't sign the paperwork unless you'd been a regular attender for a number of years. You didn't even appear to be listening. I continued to say that I wasn't going to do it since I thought it could be stealing a place from someone who genuinely went to church regularly because they wanted to and held strong beliefs. You agreed. I didn't go in to detail about any other reasons, just that I didn't think it was right.
 
Within a month your church attendance went from never to weekly. You joined the church's Mothers' Group. You began to take an active part in anything you possibly could. Then when it was paperwork time last October, the priest happily signed your son's application.
 
Come March this year, when the school allocations were made, you were full of praise for your son, about how well he'd done to get in to "the good school" when in reality none of the schools' admissions were based on achievement, only parental church attendance for church schools, or home location for other schools!
I was ecstatic that my son had got in to our first choice of school.
We'd chose a smaller school with a much more caring attitude.
One that has a 30minute shorter journey each way.
We believe that our son will be truly happy there and encouraged to develop all his skills in a way that is appropriate for his disability.
 
And come April, your face hasn't been seen in church for several weeks.  
Well lets hope that God's Wrath is appropriate for you.
Let's hope your son doesn't have a thoroughly miserable time in that school - like I did when I went there.
And for goodness sake stop praising your son for doing nothing, he's big-headed and obnoxious enough already, and that's going to make him worse - how about the Christian value of humility, and remembering that vanity is a sin?
And just know that as soon as our kids begin High School in Autumn, you're off the FaceBook & Twitter friend lists because when I was pleased about where my son was going to High School you looked down your nose at the thought of him attending the local High School that you went to - yes, that caring, happy school is the one first I met you at 20+ years ago when I left "The Good School" because all they cared about was their own reputation and not the students welfare or happiness, they covered up abuse by teachers and ignored kids who were abused at home. Hope your son's gonna be really happy there!

Friday, May 20, 2011

no balls

So, I am up at 3am making cake balls to surprise the girls on their campout.
While melting the candy coating I decide to check my online insurance
EOB statements and find out $250 of standard labwork is not covered.
WTF????? Burned the damn coating // no balls // kitchen stinks. :(

--

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Best friend whine.

To my (incredibly stupid, immature, and ridiculous) best friend of several years,
 
I would like you to know it's getting increasingly more difficult for me to hold my tongue and not tell you (every time I see you) that you have completely lost your damn mind...again. I know you've been lonely since your divorce two years ago, the divorce you caused by cheating on your wife basically from the day you started dating. I know you had a bad year last year as you whored your way through a whopping total of 29 girls (that I know about), aged 18-43 respectively, including one pregnancy scare and one trip to the doctor to get a shitload of antibiotics.
 
When you met Her a few months ago, you were still just playing around. In fact, you couldn't even decide if you'd rather sleep with Her or her sister. You picked Her. The one with a child. And now, 5 months later, you're getting married.
 
You, who have never been able to be faithful to a single person, including Her so far (gasp!), have decided you want to get married again... at her persistent urging, of course. You, who cannot make a decision to save your life OR tell anyone NO to anything, have decided you've turned over a new leaf and will be the perfect model husband. You, who won't just have an impact on Her life when you cheat again but her child's as well, want a delusional happily ever after. You, HAVE LOST YOUR GOD DAMN MIND. And for that matter, so has She.
 
Good luck and best wishes to you both on your upcoming nuptials.
 
 
Love,
Your Best Friend

Workplace Whine

If no one in this office would talk to me for the rest of the day that would be freakin' sweet. I hate them all. None of the asinine conversations that have been thrust upon me this morning have been work related. I don't care about your dog, I don't think the world is going to end on Saturday, I don't care what you had for breakfast, I don't care what your kid got on his math test. Why won't they just shut up and leave me alone?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Do-Gooder Whine

I carry leashes in my car and dog treats. We've rescued several dogs in the past. They usually have collars and tags, so we get them home fast. What was I thinking Wed. night when we picked up the dog with no tags?! No microchip either! I swear she's a pure breed. What the heck am I gonna do?! This do-good thing is a real pain in my ass right now!