Saturday, January 31, 2009

Dear Self,

What kind of dummy are you that you got not one but two greyhounds when you live in a cold climate. When you start whining about dragging the dogs out to do bathroom breaks before they sneak and leave you a special package, just remember it is all your fault you have to stand in the snow hoping for some poopsicles to drop. A smarter person would have picked a dog with fur.

Dear Neighbor,

Please stop pretending you don't know I live on the same street as you when I see you out shopping. I know there are about 90 homes in our subdivision, however, I sat next to you during a dinner and talked to you the entire night. And once you finally stopped pretending you didn't know who I was, you managed to slip in that your daughter is the basketball star and they haven't lost a championship since 4th grade. Then you informed me I must call you so your daughter can baby-sit for me. Uh, sorry what was your name... I don't think I know you....


We're having friends over for dinner tonight but I wish they weren't coming so I could stay in my pjs and just order a pizza.

Dear Eli,

I know you counted 7 carrots on your plate, but I swear to you there really are only the agreed upon 6. You keep counting the first one twice. See how they're arranged in 2 rows of 3? You couldn't do that with 7 carrots because 7 is an odd number.

I am not trying to trick you into eating one extra baby carrot, and even if I were, that is not grounds to refuse to eat any vegetable whatsoever.

xoxo, Mommy.

Head Lice

I've been known to send my kid to school with a runny nose or a cough.
But I would never knowingly send my kids to school with head lice. I
heard through the mom grapevine that the triplets in my kid's grade
had lice, yet they never missed a day of school. They exposed all
three first grade classes.

Well guess what I discovered in my daughter's hair last night. I am pissed.


Morning Routine Whine

During the week, this is what my morning routine looks like:

1. Wake the kids.
2. Make breakfast.
3. Make lunch for kids.
4. Tell the kids to get up.
5. Unload the dishwasher from the night before.
6. Look adoringly in the mirror.
7.  Yell at kids to get up.
8.  Yell at kids to shut the hell up and eat their breakfast.
9.  Write note to babysitter about afterschool activities, etc.
10. Tell kids to bring their plates to the sink.
11.  Tell kids to brush their teeth.
12.  Tell kids to get dressed.
13.  Take a shower, get dressed, throw some war paint on face.
14.  Tell kids that no one in their fucking right mind wants to go to school, but they're going anyway.
15.  Yell at kids that yes, they have to wear a coat because it's 10 degrees outside.
16.  Tell daughter that yes, hats do ruin hair styles but I don't care.
17.  Get kids out the door.
18 . Walk kids to school.
19.  Collapse in nervous exhaustion.

Here is what Husbandrinka's morning routine is like:

1. Wake up and stretch!  Yawn!  What a yummy night's sleep!
2. Put on cozy slippers and mosey out to the kitchen!  The coffee smells yummy!
3.  Have breakfast while reading The New York Times.  It has all the news that's fit to print.
4.  Rustle kids' hair as they are running by.  Those rascals are sure adorable!
5.  Say hi to the Little Woman (disclaimer: does not refer to her actual size).
6.  Shower and get ready for work.  Captain of Industry is on his way!
7.  Say goodbye to fam--oh, they must have gone already.

How the Sidewalk is Like a Road

See, the way it works on a sidewalk is, there are lanes of traffic (i.e., people on either side, walking up and down). So when you need to turn left, it means you're turning into a lane of traffic (e.g., a person). Now, when you're pushing the World's Largest Stroller and turn left directly into my path, and I'm running with my dog, your carriage felt like a tractor-trailer. Just think for one second about the other people in the world around you. And for those wondering, the baby was fine, because it was safely esconced in the Cadillac Escalade of strollers, as was the dog, because I took the blow.

Anonymous late-night whine

I am no kind of writer.  I've never pretended, nor aspired, to be a writer.  But it annoys the shit out of me when I read the blog of an 'aspiring writer' and it sucks.  As in glaring misspellings and grammatical errors.  Not to mention ridiculously boring content.  I want to leave a comment saying "THIS SUCKS!  You are never going to make it as a writer!"  But, I'm just not that mean.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Whine in a box

Whenever my children go to someone else's house they instantly want their house. It is not like we live in a shoebox..... but if their friend did, they'd ask to move in, too.

I know it's not a school night

but it would still be fanfuckingtastic if the kids would go to sleep. Because I'm exhausted.

Secret whine

You know what's REALLY fucking annoying?? When my finaces ex wife is on Twitter and reads all my Tweets and then holds them against my fiance in regards to seeing his kids.  Personally I think she needs some Dick. or a really good vibrator.
I just spent $12 on 2 Empire Kosher chickens for dinner but I'm not in the mood for chicken.

Fashion Whine

When I put on black legging and black boots on this morning, the look that I was going for was "mod". Not "Third Reich".

Stroller as Battering-ram

Dear Urban Moms & Dads in Silverlake, CA:

Please stop using your strollers as battering-rams. In the aisles at Trader Joe's. On the running path around the reservoir. As you step defiantly into traffic, seemingly demanding: Get out of my way, Baby On Board!

If you're trying to kill your child, please just do it the old fashioned way - drown 'em then blame it on a black guy.

Thank you,


I can't remember

I used to have an ace memory but since I got pregnant I constantly forget what it is I'm supposed to be doing. Instead of a mind like a steel trap I feel more like a goldfish lately.


My Daughter's Whine

For some reason, she disapproves. And doesn't know how to spell "blood".

Dear Over Reactive, Needy Parent,

Please don't ask me how I like my children's school when what you really want to do is explain to me why you don't want to send your child there. No the cost in tuition is not less because the "other school" has better books, teachers or will hold your hand more. $500 will not cover the cost of your neurosis. Your son is an enormous PITA. I know because you live across the street, and when I see you out I run for my door. So for the tiny amount of tuition your single-child household will throw my children's low-cost school... please choose the other school.

I never said that!

So my son just asked me when I'm going to get him Guitar Hero, like I promised. And I was like, "Wtf, I never promised" and he's like, "yes, you did."  So I know that these did so/did not debates never go well for me, because hello, he's seven, it's not like he has things to do all day, so I said, "well if I did, I didn't mean it" and he says "so you lied" and I said "I guess."  Which makes me feel like I did something wrong. This is why it's better never to talk to your children.  Or to my children.

my husband's missing cleaning gene

My husband complains (sometimes out loud, sometimes in his mind, but so loudly I can hear it from two rooms away) about the messy state of the house, but acts as if there's nothing he can do about it. I actually said that to him once: "it annoys me that you act as if there's nothing YOU can do about it," and he looked genuinely puzzled and said "But what can I do about it?'
I wanted to say, "Is it my ovaries that give me the magical power to put shit away, or my uterus?"
It annoys me even more that I didn't say it. Maybe we're playing chicken with the cleaning, and I don't even know it. He's winning, anyway. Bastard.
I don't understand why, when playing with my 3 year old, he always gets to be WordGirl and I have to be Captain Huggie Face. a) I'm a girl and he's not b) he looks way more like a monkey than I do and c) I know WAY more words then him.


I find Dooce the most boring blog of all time.

I'm Over Oprah Like....Well, Like Oprah All Over A Ham

OK, what the FUCK is wrong with Oprah? Is that bitch never going to shut the hell up about how huge her ass is? If that goddamned mouthpiece cannot buy herself a skinny ass, it means it's just not gonna happen. When you have all the money in the world and you bitch and moan and whine about how fat your ass is, guess what? NO ONE CARES A FUCK. Even those whiney  no-lifers in the audience who think they can now "relate" to Oprah because she "shares" their problems. I say to you misguided wretches, "Bullshit." She can no more relate to your scuzzy little problems than Sarah Palin can relate to...well, the alphabet.

Jesus, woman...give us a real problem to deal with and shut UP about your fat ass....

Competitive Whining

In sixty hours, I have to get on multiple airplanes with three children, ages 3, 3 and 18 months.  I'm twenty weeks pregnant.  Five people, albeit, some of them small, four coach seats.  Three flights, over twenty hours of travel.  I think I just won the whining war. 

Geckos shit on my walls at night

Then, my kids smear it around in the morning like finger paint.  I spotted one of the little effers recently, but I'll be damned if I'm lizard wrangling in my two hours of spare evening time.  I suppose you're thinking, why doesn't she clean the gecko shit off the walls in the morning.  That would be a solution.  Involving cleaning.  I prefer to chase my kids around with hand sanitizer and whine.

Last week, a friend told me that I really should do something more proactive, because geckos can carry salmonella.  Yeah, well, so can peanut butter.  Pass the Jiffy.

Use your words use your words use your words use your words use your words use your words use your words use your words use your words

For the love of any god, goddess and the poor people who live next
door, on top of us and below us would you please just stop the crying
screaming kicking and tossing around while you grunt and moan and sob
and just tell me how to make whatever the hell it is better???

PS: for Mothers day this year I would like the following.......

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I give up.

After teacher work days and snow days and pseudo-snow days, I thought tomorrow would finally be a day where all three kids would be at school for the same two and a half hours and I would get to chill out by myself. Then I remembered that I had a dentist appointment during that time. Stupid teeth.



Would you please stop erasing every fucking thing you write. Only to rewrite it. Only to erase it again. Only me INSANE. Mommy is trying very hard not to scream at you. Horrible obscenities. That would make even a drunken tattooed sailor blush.
I am so proud of you! And I love you!

anonymous whine

My husband is unable to take out the recycling, because it's "crunch time" for him right now at work.




Why does it bother me that my neighbor is an anal-retentive shoveler.... And grass cutter. And dandelion weeder. Why do I get a rat's ass? Oh that's right, because she thinks I should be the same....


I have been treo-less since I quit my job and am too cheap to buy one for myself. I have to wait to whine until I'm at home when I'd much rather be able to whine wherever the hell I am. wah.


Dear People who are supposed to be my friends,
I am now officially sick of you. I know, I know, it is unchristian of me. I've tried and tried to make excuses for your poor behavior. Unfortunately, it's getting worse and I can no longer cover for you. I am now officially ashamed to call you my friends. Not only that, but you are becoming a danger to someone I love and I can no longer enable you.
When my dying father moved in with me, I told him about what wonderful people you were and what great friends you were. When his health started actually getting better, instead of deteriorating as expected, I came out of my sleep-deprived stupor to tell myself that the reason you didn't offer to help was because you were so busy with your own's ok, we all know busy...I'm busy's cool (even though you were living in my house almost rent free so you could build your own little nest). I am a giver, that's what I do.
When I started taking dad to church, it was a little embarassing that only a handful of people actually talked to him, rather than talking to me about him as if he wasn't even there. He has a lung disease, not mental issues...oh, and his hearing works just fine. I didn't say anything when you offered to take him out for coffee to get him out of the house a bit and to give me a break.....and then showed up two and a half years later, shamefacedly admitting that you were busy..... and STILL not actually taking him for coffee. You know he is a pretty cool guy and I love him a lot. I think he could have been a good friend to you, even in his less healthy state. I think he was looking forward to getting out on his own without me hovering over him. Now .....he's just pissed and doesn't want anything to do with you. When I tell you now that I don't think it would be a good idea for you to visit him, it's because I'm protecting you (I know, I know....I don't know why either). I don't want you to have to deal with a grumpy old man that YOU let down.
But when I tell you that I don't want you to visit him weekly to make sure he has some connection to the church (you know, the one that doesn't bother to get to know him...where the preacher who baptised him never really even bothered to introduce himself...yeah, that one....) because it is flu season and the doctor says he can't stand getting pneumonia too many more times.....I MEAN IT. I don't mean for you to sneak in the back door of my house and visit him in his apartment without me knowing. I don't need you to tell him the reason you hadn't visited him recently is because his daughter told you that you weren't allowed to visit. Again, referring to his mental issues (or lack there of).....he's not stupid. He knows that I asked you not to visit. He told you it was mainly because his doctor recommends that he limit his exposure to the public, ESPECIALLY DURING FLU SEASON. It doesn't help when you tell him that you are just getting over some sickness yourself. I know we have sick kids in our household right now....thank you for generously bringing one of them home for me, but there are several sicknesses going around right now and now I have to worry about us getting another one. Now I have to worry about him getting sick more so than usual.
Dear friend, you aren't the one who has to take care of him. You aren't the one who has to juggle household chores, a 4 year old, 3 teenagers, 2 cats, 2 dogs and a husband who travels 5 days a week for work while going back and forth to the hospital so he doesn't get bored or feel like we've forgotten him, yet also worrying about the family left at home waiting for supper....forget about the dozens of meals that I've cooked for those who are sick at church and in need of help. (We've discontinued that program because, you know, we are all convenient.) You aren't the one who has to watch as the steroids they pump through him send his blood sugar to 450, knowing that 250 could possibly put him in a coma. You aren't the one who has to sit there wondering if this is the last time you will see him alive and how to explain that to your 4 year old. You also aren't the one who has to give your very private father a shower when he is released because he is too weak to do it himself. And you don't have to figure out how to pay his hospital bill on his very  limited income. But hey, you sure are good at moral support. If I hear about what a great person I am one more time I am gonna puke. So make sure you step back so the backsplash doesn't hit you.
Dear people who are supposed to be my friends,
Do me a favor, don't love me so much. I can't stand it. And don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
Your friend,
Little Miss "I-just-don't-know-how-you-do-all-you-do"

Idiot Drivers

Why do people feel the need to cross three lanes of traffic, jump in front of me and slam on their brakes to take a right turn? Especially when THERE IS NO ONE BEHIND ME. Gah.

What More Do I Need to do for MORE Money!?

Dear People Who Are My Bosses but Have No Actual Supervision Over Me (I'm a federal contractor);
After 5 months of "helping you out" by making a detour to one of the biggest positions a girl like me could have, PLEASE give me more money.  I was filling in for a GS-12 in the Washington, DC area.  Do you KNOW what a girl, 3.5 years out of college (out-of-state), could do with an $87k salary?  I could pay off my $800/month (stupid out-of-state college) loans A LOT faster than I am now...and buy a new car...and get my eyebrows waxed on a more regular basis. 
The transition happened.  My boss left and I am back on my "career path".  Only on Monday they told me they don't need me in the position for which I was originally hired.  Now people are fighting over me.  Everyone wants a piece.  Surely I AM worth more than a measly $55k (the most money I've ever made!)...right?  I even have an email from one of you that says, and I QUOTE:  Thank you. You have obviously become a valuable asset.  I mean, you wouldn't want me to actually go FED, would you?!
YOUR Valuable Asset.
PS: Marinka and Shallow Gal...excuse the crazy email address...LONG, SECRET STORY.

Seussical whine

Why is that people who claim to be such fans of Dr. Seuss can't even SPELL Seuss correctly? It's annoying.

I promised my 3 year old we'd bake brownies if he took a nap

And he's not napping so I don't get a nap AND I don't get any brownies either.

Why should I be punished because he won't take a nap?

Sweet Jesus, stop walking down the street, three abreast

with your arms linked like the fucking Rockettes. You are blocking the natural flow of traffic.

I know it's NYC and it's scary, but stop holding hands.

Mid-Afternoon whine

How many times can I step in cat vomit with bare feet in one week?  (Marinka, are you listening?)

I have a lot to bitch about but #1 is that Marinka is spending too much time on the whiny blog and not posting on her own site!!  WTF!!  I look forward to her posts every day.  I started following her from the link on Wendy Aaron's site and now it is my favorite blog because it's something new every day.  Can't a woman with a dead beat husband, 3 dogs and 11 puppies have something to look forward to???  Well, CAN'T SHE???

I'm cold

but if I put a sweater on, I'm too hot.


Dueling Whine-os

Now I'm feeling guilty that ShallowGal felt bad about her comment.  Don't sweat it, ShallowGal, I'm just bitter because my days as a trophy wife may be over.

Rachel's MIL hacked my computer

And posted a thoughtless comment under my name.

(sorry Rachel, I was on auto pilot this am)


Dear Coworker,
Please stop interrupting me. Either that or stop the facade of engaging me in conversion. Seriously. I think our last 3 dialogues went something like this:

"How are you?" Well, I'm goo.....
"Did you have a good weekend?" Actually, I wen......
"What do you think about XYZ" You know, I.....

What the fuck? What is your major malfunction? Are you really unaware of how annoying that is? And why me?
I'm considering ordering you a bobblehead of myself. Then you can just set her head nodding and talk away.

Seriously, I don't take that shit from my husband much less a total stranger! So, knock it off.

morning whine 1/29

As if it isn't bad enough that I actually had to take out the garbage myself last night, I woke up to the sight of all 3 cans PLUS one of the recycling bins overturned in the icy driveway.  I had to go out there at 8 am in my jammies and slippers and pick all that shit up!  I damn near froze my hands off!


Dear Husband,
Please stop leaving the blinds in the bathroom open.  By now the neighbors probably have seen me naked multiple times.  Surely they are getting bored with the view.
Your Loving Wife.

my morning whine

Tuesday there was a little snow and they stayed home. Wednesday there was ice and they stayed home. Today there are neither. Seriously, NONE. What the fuck? I really don't want to build another fort, bake more cookies, play house, read a million books, dress up, make hot cocoa and tell stories all day long for children who never tire and sleep. What I wanted to do was nap, since the baby was up all night. So much for that. Our school district can go to hell.

Whiney enough for ya?



I just woke up and staggered out to the living room to check email and news and it smells like piss. PISS! Like the little bitch of a pug that lives here decided she would just take a piss somewhere on the carpet. To which I have to try and figure out where exactly she did this and try and clean the smell out. Which never really goes away. Ever. This is karma for making the puppy joke.


Wasn't one haircut by a 7-year-old stylist enough? Was it really necessary for her to try to "fix" it. By fix it, I mean almost no bangs....

The sidebar Shakespeare insults mock me

They make me feel illiterate because I don't recognize any of them. I keep waiting for the "how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have an ungrateful child" from King Lear to appear because I know that one and will feel all cultured and shit.

My husband looks like a garden gnome when he gets angry with me.

Which is often.



Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Wake Forest just took my pretty boy team down and now we won't be #1. Waaah, waah, waaah.
signed, Coach K

anon whine

How friggin hard is it to separate your t-shirt and your sweatshirt when you put them in the laundry?  Could you unroll your socks?  Empty your pockets?   And that's just my husband. At least he doesn't throw still folded laundry back in the basket.

Get ready for daily emails from me.

Why can't my dog just learn to fucking talk already? She gives me her "I have to go out" whine and jumps around and generally gets in my face and then I have to get up from thinking about whining to the internet to open the door for her and she just stands there and looks at me. She's such an asshole.


Jean, a.k.a. Stimey, writes at Stimeyland, DC Metro Moms Blog, and Trusera.
She declutters at The Junk Pyramid and writes reviews at Things and Stuff Reviews.
Twitter: Stimey

In less than 24 hours, this blog has three times as many followers as I've gotten on my primary blog in the past eighteen months. And had as many page views as I usually get in a week. (1)

So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm actually upset at my own success.

xoxo, ShallowGal

PS: Thanks internet for a great first day!

1) Fine. 2 weeks. That's so sad.

Comment Control

Why do people insist on the rather obnoxious option of "approving" a comment before publishing it anyway on their blog? I leave a comment because I have something pertinent to say. Often very well worded. Always well thought out. I think that deserves an instant placement in the comment field. And a gracious response from the blog owner who, if not already following me, will make the obvious choice to do so.

Contacts, eyeballs and swearing OH MY!

I'll go openly and honestly.
Last night I was exhausted and in serious pain (a dangerous cocktail of period pain and sciatica) and it took me 1/2 an hour to get my stupid contact lense out!!! To the point where I was wondering if I could just leave the bloody thing in there forever.  Plus we had the fan on cos it's super hot in Australia at the moment and the wind kept hurting my sensitive eye. Finally got it out but word to the wise, don't touch your eyeball when you're angry. No good can come of it...I have the red eyeball to prove it.
PinkLizzy Sews


I am so annoyed I didn’t think of doing this, why don’t I have people to do cool shit like this with? Why don’t I have any friends? Why did I kill that puppy when I was 10? (Woops I thought I was over at Post Secret for a second).

You should never joke about killing puppies. I hope someone whines about this post.

-Ryan from the Panic Room :)


Anonymous Whine

Why can't I get a haircut appointment until Tuesday?  I need a haircut today!!  What is this...Hollywood, where you are just "sooooo booked?"  It's a hair cut.  It takes 30 minutes and you can't work me in?  Arrrggghh!  I don't want to wait until NEXT week!! 

I have caller id a**hole

Who doesn't know that everyone has caller id? Yes you are trying to do a good deed, but jesus - you've called my house twice today and I haven't picked up the phone for a reason. I don't want to talk to you!


It is never okay to sneeze. Unless you use a tissue, your own clothing, or sneeze on yourself. People who willingly spew germs through the air should confine themselves to their own air space.
Thank you O Defenders of the Spineless Whine!
A more altruistic service you could not offer to the Spineless Whining Masses.

Please just sign whine this Fiona (if you post it)

so how do i make my whine anonymous?? i have one and it's all your fault.
Yesterday, when i was away doing the work of the people as a citizen lobbyist (because that's the kind of wonderful selfless person I am) some moron in my family fucked with the toaster setting. So, while I was busy reading spineless whines, my bagel burnt and smoke is rolling through the house and i can't open the doors because it 10 degrees and the mouse that lives under the deck will come in, poop everywhere and give birth under my bed. Logically, it's your fault because if this website didn't exist, I would have been closing monitoring my toaster. Instead, I'm still hungry, the house stinks, the dog is freaking out, i'm freezing my ass off and the mice are lining up to use my bed as a birthing center and i'm forced to drink before lunch. I'll accept cash as compensation.

I am so sick of listening to my kids fight and bicker.  The noise that comes from their little bodies all day long makes me want to shoot myself!  It's like nails on a fucking chalkboard to me.  Ok, I'm done, thanks for listening Smiley emoticon
Nicole @ Sanity check

Spineless Whin

I had to cancel my mani/pedi appointment and rearrange my whole day of
shopping just so I could investigate this new blog.

This is NOT anonymous.

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake

I am a grump

My head hurts. I am home with both kids, supposedly working from home, and my mother is being seriously annoying. And depressing. And ridiculous. I want to smack her. Or tell her to just die already.  And my daughter peed on the rug because I couldn't find a diaper and she took hers off, after she conned me into taking her pants off because she wanted to go potty. She didn't want to go potty. She wanted to pee on my rug. And take her pants off. I don't have enough food in the house. I don't feel up to creating fun activities. My eyes are burning. And the Wiggles make me want o kick someone.

My baby keeps eating her hand. It gets wet and cold and slimy. I hate that.

Did I mention I have a headache? And that my daughter will be spending the entire fricking day in front of the TV?

Don't judge me - you know you'd do it too if you were having a day like this.
my sushi smelled strangely fishy. i ate it anyways. it'll be fiiiinnnee. i hope.
My wife won't friend me on Facebook. Whatsupwiththat?


I forgot to link to my blog


and I forgot to sign




Rachel's secret/whine:
My husband and I are currently separated.  I'm not sure if we'll be able to salvage our marriage or not.  I've been dying to blog about this, but my mother-in-law reads that blog and would probably try to use anything I write against me in divorce court.  I guess this is as good of a place as any to get it out. 
Was this too depressing?  The whines are supposed to be light-hearted and irrelevant, aren't they?  I knew I'd f*ck this up.  I should stick to judging and mocking.

Welcome to Secret Spineless Whine!

Do you have a secret that you want to tell the world anonymously? Then go to the excellent Post Secret or Secret Tweet. We don’t need your kind here.

But if you have a spineless whine, well, make yourself at home!
What is a spineless whine? It’s a minor complaint that doesn’t quite reach the level of a secret and yet you suspect that if you shared it with your friends or colleagues, they would be annoyed. That’s where we come in.

Email your spineless whine to, anonymously or not, and it will post directly to Secret Spineless Whine. We will tweet some entries and mock others. Sometimes we will tweet and mock the very same entries. Which will give you more stuff to whine about.

Here are some questions that you may have, answered:

Q: I think I understand, and this is a brilliant idea, but how I can tell if what I have is more of a secret or a whine?
A: “I killed my aunt” is secretish.
“Brangelina are really annoying” is whinerish. Although I salute the sentiment.

Q: Why can’t I just whine to my friends, family, co-workers instead of posting here?
A: You can. But give them a link to this blog, in case, you know, they want to say something about you.

Q: Isn’t listening to people’s whines annoying?
A: Yes.

Q: Are you just making up these questions and then answering them?
A: Shouldn’t you know the answer to that one?

Any other questions?

We are still tinkering with this concept, so if you have any ideas/suggestions, please post them or email us at

And then send in your whine to We’ll provide the cheese.

damn it! I can't figure out how to make my "welcome post" down below sticky!

So that visiting whiners see it first.

Belle's whining...

I hate everyone that works in a call centre.

Stupid people annoy me. See above.

People who can not speak English should not work in call centres. See above.

Belle's Secrets

Once a fruit fly flew into my husbands spaghetti and I didn’t tell him. It gave me great pleasure to watch him eat it.


I fake it a lot and I’m better at it than Meg Ryan.



It's 5:30am.  'Nuff said? 

public whining! Hooray!!!

I can’t even *tell you* how much I hate it when I’m having sex but floating through my subconscious are thoughts about circumcisions and sticky floors.  HATE THAT!


[Sure, I’d love to take the credit for this bit of brilliance, but I can’t remember how to do that hyperlinky thingy and my blog name is cute but the actual address is effing stupid . . .   Donchya think Country Mouse Comes Unhinged is so much better?  Obviously, I’ve spent too much time thinking about this : )   ]

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Upstairs Neighbor is Cooking Fish

Why can't they worship Satan instead, like everyone else?

My floor is sticky

One of the kids spilled a fruit cup on my kitchen floor and my
cleaning lady doesn't come until Monday. I don't think I can live
with it that long, but I don't know where the mop is.

My eye itches

But I don't want to scratch it because, well, it's my eye.


parking lot rage

I just love it when I pull up to the 'park here if you have kids with you' section of my local grocery store parking lot, and a way-past middle age guy with a paunch driving a sebring convertible slips into the spot of front of me. It's even better when I roll down my window and point out his mistake, and the fact that it's like 10 degrees outside and I have an infant in my backseat, but he just gives me the finger and walks away. Love that.

I did it!

hooray for me!

Yet Another Test

I'm starting to feel like I'm back in school.


Monday, January 26, 2009

The frog makes me laugh

So I added it even though I think Marinka will yell at me.

I can't stop eating cheetos.

I may need intervention.