1. Wake the kids.
2. Make breakfast.
3. Make lunch for kids.
4. Tell the kids to get up.
5. Unload the dishwasher from the night before.
6. Look adoringly in the mirror.
7. Yell at kids to get up.
8. Yell at kids to shut the hell up and eat their breakfast.
9. Write note to babysitter about afterschool activities, etc.
10. Tell kids to bring their plates to the sink.
11. Tell kids to brush their teeth.
12. Tell kids to get dressed.
13. Take a shower, get dressed, throw some war paint on face.
14. Tell kids that no one in their fucking right mind wants to go to school, but they're going anyway.
15. Yell at kids that yes, they have to wear a coat because it's 10 degrees outside.
16. Tell daughter that yes, hats do ruin hair styles but I don't care.
17. Get kids out the door.
18 . Walk kids to school.
19. Collapse in nervous exhaustion.
Here is what Husbandrinka's morning routine is like:
1. Wake up and stretch! Yawn! What a yummy night's sleep!
2. Put on cozy slippers and mosey out to the kitchen! The coffee smells yummy!
3. Have breakfast while reading The New York Times. It has all the news that's fit to print.
4. Rustle kids' hair as they are running by. Those rascals are sure adorable!
5. Say hi to the Little Woman (disclaimer: does not refer to her actual size).
6. Shower and get ready for work. Captain of Industry is on his way!
7. Say goodbye to fam--oh, they must have gone already.