Saturday, February 21, 2009

Anytime You Want to Move Back to California

Anymommy is back and whining again for us! Check here if you missed her previous whine. So that you're all up to date in Whineland.


Hi Coop Toddler School Mommy. Hi there. Hi. It's me, Stacey. Yeah, that one. The one that's pregnant with her fourth child? And she's in the Toddler I class. I know. The baby is only 18 months old. He's not even talking yet. It defies imagination, doesn't it? I mean, there aren't that many houses with four bedrooms in this area. The kids might have to share. Gasp! We don't fit into a Volvo station wagon. We have a Dodge Minivan. It's used. The scandal. I'm aware. But, really, asking me if this pregnancy was 'unplanned' in that sneery voice is rude. I'm know that you pursued a cure for cancer while simultaneously cultivating a successful writing career with your cryogenically frozen eggs on hold for you. I don't begrudge you your choices. I'm glad that you have your gorgeous little miracle twins and that they fit perfectly into your Volvo. That doesn't make my pregnancy, fourth or otherwise, an affront to the universe. Also, while we're chatting, yes, I did realize that they sell organic edamame and cheese at Huckleberries. I don't shop there. It's too expensive for little old barefoot and pregnant me. There's nothing in the snack guidelines that says the snack food has to be organic. No peanuts, no sweets, that's what the little piece of paper says. Edamame and cheese are a really healthy snack. Suck it up, or I swear to God I will start bringing goldfish and graham crackers and then what will little Annabelliza and Cromwell eat? (Probably goldfish and graham crackers in huge fistfuls like they've never had actual food before, but, you know, I'm not judging or anything, except when you judge me, and then only in retaliation.)

20 comments:

Rachel said...

Anymommy, you should move closer to me. Used minivans are the norm. Also, you totally stole my whine.

Braja said...

There is a time for physical violence.

This is one such time.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Yeah. Knock the crap out of her, and walk off. You can always blame it on hormones.

Sandi said...

Oh Stacey, I will kick the shit out of her for you! She ain't seen nothing yet, Wait till I pull up with the fifteen passenger van and I let the kids off the leash.

i am so sorry you have to deal with that. It's NO better here in my yuppy world. 2.3 kids is the allotted amount here in So Cal.

blognut said...

Just look at her with a really faraway, blank stare and say, "Planned? No, I don't know what causes this."

Then knock her head off.

jennygirltherat said...

I agree with Braja. Slapfest in 5..4...3..2..1..SLAP THAT B#$@#

jennygirltherat said...

And can I say that until now I have read that screen name as "Anonymommy." Which is kind of cool, but it still qualifies as a brainfart on my part.

Leigh (Modern Mommy) said...

*giggles* You know, I brought trail mix in for snack at my DD's preschool. With chocolate. I am now simultaneously the most hated and most loved classroom mommy. (Only people under the age of 4 love me, though.)

MommyTime said...

Ugh. Point her out to me; I've got your back! On so many levels, mommies like this make me c-r-a-z-y.

K.Line said...

Oh, those class mothers make me insane! Really, bring Smarties and chocolate milk the next time.

p.huong said...

Is she really cooking up a cure for cancer?? Alright, Anymommy, me and you against her. Knock her down long enough so I can steal her cancer curing plans. We'll beat her to the discovery using my lab (late at night so Boss doesn't find out) and we'll split the money and glory.

Ann's Rants said...

That is one seriously threatened Mama. Doesn't she realize we parents desperately need one another? What a fool.

Holly Forrest said...

Wait a minute. Are you posting from the future? That is too cool. The date of your post is in 2010.

Could you share a few things? Like who won the 2010 Superbowl? Or at least did Robert Downey Jr. win the Oscar this year?

Insults said...

Excellent stuff.

Amber said...

I love you there, I love you here. We got that when we became pregnant with our 4th.

Please tell me those aren't the actual names...poor kids.

Maura said...

Hey! Don't send her back here!! We don't want her rude ass here any more than you do.

Anyone who sneers at Anymommy is gonna get bitchslapped by me, so unless you want me jailed for assault, please sent her elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Sadly girls, this One lives everywhere. She's just better than we are, let her go.

Her bubble will be burst eventually by those perfect little twins. Just be patient. Karma.

Anne

Heather said...

Oh God I really dislike people that are rude like that. They are also the ones that ask you "when are you going to have a family" and "when are you going to get a real job" - ugh. I did stump one of those a week after my miscarriage and told them the truth it was great to see their face go beetroot red.

Jodi said...

I live in the South. We get lots of people moving here, then telling us how they did things in ______ (insert Non-Southern state here). And I so want to say, "I-95 goes both ways."

CSY said...

Karma is a bitch...guess which pretty little girl is gonna end up living in a trailer park with 12 kids of her own?!?!?!?!

Sorry, that was mean - but the other 'mommy' shouldn't be THAT judgemental about people!