Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Didn't Your Momma Teach You Better?

I admire a woman who can hunker-squat over a public toilet and pee without sitting down.  Really, I do.  When I was a kid my best friend could do it and I was amazed.  But you know what happens when you hunch up and pee like that?  It sprays all over the seat.  Surely you are aware of this.  And if you are spraying all over the seat, isn't some getting on your legs or unders?  Anyway, my point is that I don't want to walk into a public restroom, push open the stall door and be confronted by your golden shower.  I don't care if you are the Queen of Freakin' England, pee is pee and I don't want to see yours.

So do all of us "sitters" a favor.  After you spray like a garden hose on a warm summer day, take 2 seconds to wipe the seat.  I'll bet that rigt there on the wall is one of those industrial-sized rolls of toilet paper. Damn thing must weigh 15 pounds and consist of 2 miles of TP.  So help yourself!  Roll off a good sized wad and give the seat a quick wipe.  Public toilets are gross enough without your thoughtful contribution.

4 comments:

one little simitopian said...

Here here!!!!!

TMCPhoto said...

I couldn't have said that better myself!

Maura said...

Are you kidding? That would require actual thought about other people. Or, you know, turning around after doing your business, and who has time for that? You crazy idealist, you!

Christy said...

I, too, am amazed at the squatters. I'll admit it; I'm jealous. I'll never squat. Curse these short legs!