Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dude, stop.

You're not cool. I don't care how many little crude punk buttons you pin to your denim vest, or how tight your jeans fit. It's not very flattering when I see you wear those jeans, by the way, because it looks like something is shoved up your ass, and splitting your marble's in two. And if you even try and walk like a normal guy does, you don't, because you just might bust a nut. Also, that eyeliner you cake on? Nooot a good look for you. Wash your hair, too. It looks like a matted up 40-year-old shag carpet.

You might be expressing yourself, but I bet you a million dollars, that you'll look back on yourself twenty years from now and think, "What the fuck was I thinking?"