Monday, February 23, 2009

Is It Garbage Day or Isn't It?

Look, Garbage Folks, when you slap a big orange sticker on my garbage can that says, "Your garbage day is now Tuesday," I take that to mean that my garbage day is now Tuesday and not Monday. I'm just following orders, you know? Like I was raised to do. "No, we're not taking the garbage out tonight because our day is Tuesday now and not Monday. That's what the sticker says," I tell my husband on our traditional Sunday-night Garbage Eve. "No, we're not taking the garbage out this morning because our day is Tuesday now and not Monday. That's what the sticker says," I tell my husband as we notice a couple neighbors' garbage cans out on Monday morning. And so, dear Garbage Folks, you can imagine my disappointment when I heard the rumbling of your truck roll right past our garbage-less house on Monday morning. I believed you. I trusted you. Why would you lie to me? And more importantly, what am I supposed to do with my garbage until next Tuesday? If indeed that's when you're coming. I'm cynically aware that our previously unblemished relationship -- except for the time I mistakenly put loose broken glass in the trash and you left me a snarky little note, but I admit that was my fault -- may be in trouble. But listen, you do not want to pick a fight with me over garbage. It can get nasty. I have cats and eat a lot of bananas. I'm just saying.
 
--
Cathy Wood
Read my column at timesdaily.com
Visit my blog at cathylwood.wordpress.com

3 comments:

K.Line said...

Cathy: It's possible this week is a trial run. They may come back tomorrow too. So put out the garbage just in case.

Maura said...

Perhaps you were being too literal. "Now" does not necessarily mean NOW now!

Coffee with Cathy said...

Y'all are so right!!! I also was unhappy because my husband interrupted my garbage-can rant with, "If you had only followed my suggestion ..." and you know it is never a good idea to begin a sentence to your wife with those words. Especially when, truly, if I had only followed his suggestion we'd have put the garbage can out anyway. This also spoiled my 12-hour run of being right because I accurately had predicted "Slumdog" and Heath Ledger as Oscar winners. Sigh.