Monday, February 9, 2009

Nature Whine

Dear Nocturnal Animals Outside My Daughter's Window:

Thank you so much for making noises in the middle of the night. Nothing says "scare a three-year-old" like an armadillo scratching at the bush just below the window. Or the owl that insists on screeching and hunting on her side of the house. Thanks to you I haven't had a decent night's sleep in ages. Instead of resting I'm constantly trying to escape the clingy, sweaty preschooler. (Who never goes to her father's side of the bed a half hour after he's finally fallen asleep, oh no.) I'm sure you think that your life is very difficult, what with all the scratching and hunting and stuff. But you have no idea. I'm going to hunt both of you down, skin you, and hang your carcasses from her window as a warning to all of your other scurrying, sniffling, shrieking friends. You might want to get a head start.

Mother nature can suck it.

Leigh (Modern Mommy)

1 comment:

Jodi said...

Bwahahaha! Good luck. I hear armadillos are hard to kill. Maybe you should just move.