Friday, February 27, 2009

Not a single card from the In-Laws

It was my birthday on Wednesday, and I didn't get a card from anyone in my husband's family.
So, to me, that says "We hate you." or at the very least "We don't even care enough about you to remember to grab a card for you as we walk past them in Tesco."
So that's fine.
They get nothing from me any more.
That also means that they get nothing from my husband anymore, because for the last 17years that we've been married, I have been buying the stuff & making sure that he sends them birthday cards & gifts, Christmas cards & gifts, Mothers/Fathers Day cards (& gifts - you get the picture), Wedding Anniversary cards, Christening cards & gifts... etc on time... for his 2 parents, 3 brothers & sisters, their spouses (keep count, we're up to 8people so far) Their children & those kid's partners/BF's etc & their kids  (12 more = 20 people)  - get this... even though I work full-time, and hubby doesn't work AT ALL, (and hasn't done for over 15years)... I was the one that had to shop for the cards & gifts.
Wow - I'm going to be way better off - that's 20 fewer Christmas / Birthday cards & presents a year to buy... now, imagine perhaps £10 a gift... that's £200 a year more for me, just because out of the whole of the 20 of you, not a single one of you bought me even a card. I can buy myself something nice with that £200
(Also, sorry - not updated either blog in a while, but I will do soon - I hope)
Oh, I might also make sure that hubby doesn't have their birthdays as reminders in his Outlook any more, so he won't be asking me, on the day, "Did you get my mum a birthday card?"


michelle said...

I won't send them cards either, and I don't even know them.

That is just plain rude.

Leslie Rubio said...

Came over from Belle's blog. That is too funny! Love your humor and honesty/sarcasm. I would probably still send them cards just to make them feel bad!


It's me said...

I loved this because we don't send anybody cards and never have.

Of course, I found out a couple of years ago that his mother thinks I WON'T LET HIM send cards or call her on holidays. Yeah. THAT'S what it is 'mom'... and you keep thinking that. :)

People are stupid.

country mouse said...

Family is *so* overrated : )

p.s. Happy Birthday!

Maura said...

How does that amount break down into a per-hour rate for you? I'd say you more than earned a gift with the money you'll save.

And taking the dates out of his Outlook is a very good idea!

Anonymous said...

My grandma is like this. She has no problem chastising me for not sending her a birthday/mother day/valentines day (you get idea) card. She hasn't sent me a card for any occasion in over 10 years!!

Freda Livery said...

Michelle - Thanks :-)

Leslie - Thanks - They're so horrible that I don't think they'd feel badly at all, I don't think they have an ounce of decency in them.

Meadowlark - that's fine, I don't have any issue with that, as long as they tell me "we don't do cards" so I adjust my expectations.

CountryMouse - I wish I could afford a divorce, then it wouldn't be *my* family any more!

Maura - a work colleague suggested I start a svaings account and put £10 in at the time of each birthday that I don't buy for,that way, it can be my "My in-laws suck fund"

Anon - Wouldn't life be easier if we could say "But grandma, you don't send them to me, so I stopped sending them to you" without coming across as rude?

2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

I definitely think you have to say lots of "sorry I forgot" this year. How rude of them!

K.Line said...

My inlaws have never even acknowledged that i have a birthday. ANd though they live 30 minutes away by car, the only time they ever see their grandchild is when my husband bothers to go out to them via 3 forms of public transportation and a car ride. In fact, they don't even bother to send my kid a card or call her on her birthday - though they do send her a generic kid magazine subscription.

I long since stopped caring. It just means I don't have to bother with a bunch of people I don't like spending time with.

Anonymous said...

Girl, don't get me started. My mother-in-law got her "real" grandkids beautiful clothes and winter coats, my kids(step-grandkids) got---get this---a can of peanuts and a couple of wrapped chocolates from the grocery store! They were so embarassed for her. They laughed it off on the way home from the family Christmas party(teenagers!) and then cried when we got home. Me too. Their only "real" grandma (my mom) just died and it was the first Christmas without her. My family never uses the word "step" and treats his kids the same as mine. Oh, this is a whine all it's own.