Monday, February 9, 2009

A short (but painfully long) Bitchfest

I whine a lot. Or perhaps bitch would better description. Regardless of the technical term, I can usually find fault in something or someone at any given time of the day.

Today I am home with a sick child. I was up until 3:45 am cleaning vomit from a very small, unventilated bathroom. I was so overwhelmed by the mess that I snapped a picture of it and posted it on my blog so my friends wouldn't think I was exaggerating when I said there was puke everywhere. Fun times (for those of you who might not have picked up on it - that's what you would call a hint of sarcasm - just a hint - hard to pick up on).

I fear the smell will never go away.

I am hungry. I spent $290 in groceries yesterday but I can't find anything good to eat.

There are eight boxes of cereal in my cupboard, none of which I like.

I buy vanilla Activia because that is the only yogurt anyone else in this house likes. I hate vanilla.

Could Crunch 'n Munch be classified as a healthy meal? If no, tough titties because that's what I'm eating for breakfast as I type this (at 12:30 in the afternoon).

It seems the guy who fixed this computer didn't put a legitimate copy of Windows on it and I can't use my outlook mail account anymore. I am typing this bitchfest on my hotmail account which is usually reserved for signing up for websites so that all the crap they decide to send me doesn't fill up my inbox.

Am I the only one that wants to go back to work after being home for less than five minutes? My kids drive me nuts some days. They will fight over the dumbest things - last argument was about what soap is made of. What difference does it make? It's not like they use it without my having to nag at them first.

The snow is finally melting here. This would normally make me happy, however I am not liking what is being revealed... you see, we did not rake the leaves in the fall when everyone else was out doing it. Nope, we put the task off week after week, and before we knew it, they disappeared under a 12" blanket of snow. Problem solved right? WRONG. Can't wait for spring (more sarcasm for those that aren't familiar with it). There are leaves from a 70' beech tree, a cherry tree, and from the two neighbouring maple trees - all decomposing across my front and back lawns as we speak. (well, not really lawns - the grass put up a gallant fight, but lost to the clovers). Damned if I could find a four leafed one in there.

I could go on for hours. If you ever have a lull in entries, please feel free to contact me. Just don't end the email with "Cheers." Why in the Hell do people choose to type this on purpose?

One last note before I click send... if your luck is good, and because my luck is bad, I will have typed this out for nothing, because as soon as I hit that button, it will most likely cause my computer to crash and I will have to sit at my desk and bitch to myself (as usual). At least you will not have to read through this small novel...



Jodi said...

Where's the link to the vomit pictures? I wanna see!

Moe said...

under "I spoke too soon"

Jodi said...

O. M. G. You totally deserve something special. Like a day to yourself in some kind of aromatherapy salon to get over the smell.

I'm a bit queasy now.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Maureen - I feel for you! I was up with a projectile vomiting child all night and it was sooooo revolting. That picture is giving me post traumatic stress :-) Be well.

jennygirltherat said...

Oh. Oh, dear. I haven't seen anything like that since college. ProTip: Dogs are really good for this kind of clean-up chore, as long as you don't have to watch them.
You definitely deserve a stiff drink and a hot bath (in some OTHER bathroom far away).

Maura said...

I'm SO not clicking to see your picture, but I feel for you. I'm glad your email came through and I hope you'll be back to whine again soon.

Without pictures.