Thursday, February 12, 2009

What is that strange container in the corner?

Why, I'm so glad you asked!

It's nothing to be afraid of, even though it may appear a little on the large side. See, come closer! Touch it. It's soft on the outside, you notice? That is because it's made of cloth. I know, it has really nice stripes too, doesn't it? And the lid, you see? It's just cloth too, and it flops open and closed...like this...and this... Tee hee, yes it's a little funny.

Those wooden pointy sticks that hold the cloth together? Oh, they can't hurt you. You have to be a little careful not to kick them by accident, but that's pretty easy to avoid as long as you don't walk too close to it. Since you mostly avoid it all together, that isn't a problem is it?

See, now that you've gotten a chance to see it up close, you can see that it's not too scary.  Okay, let's move on to the introductions: "Laundry Hamper, this is my Husband.  Husband, this is the Laundry Hamper."

No need to cringe. I know the name sounds fancy and confusing.  Here's what it means: it's just a place to throw your clothes when they need to be washed.  Simple, really!

I know, I know, it sounds superfluous when there is a perfectly good floor lying all over the place for that purpose on our house, but here's what I'd like to suggest: if you use this completely empty container to hold your dirty clothes, then I will know on laundry day which things need to be washed and which don't.  Also I won't trip as I walk through the house, falling over all the cast-off shirts, yesterday's sweaters, and limp socks. And in the bathroom, I won't have to look at your dirty underpants as I get into the shower. 

It may seem a little complicated at first.  I know that is a long paragraph up there.  So let me break it down for you:

I'm sick of your dirty clothes. Please put them INSIDE the hamper.

Now that you know what that crazy thing in the corner is, there's no reason to rely on the floor just next to it to be the "Dirty Laundry Place."  Easy-peasy. Organized.

AND, you just learned a new word for the day!  Say it slowly for practice: Laun-dry Ham-per.  Good job.

Now, go to work and tell all your friends.

9 comments:

Marinka said...

This is revolutionary. Could you maybe make some posters with EZ to follow guidelines. I think this may the stimulus that our country is looking for.

dizzblnd said...

OMG hilarious I hope you posted thay on your blog

dizzblnd said...

*that

Janie said...

Girl. Can you come talk to ThatManILove, please?

Major Bedhead said...

You need to make an instructional video to go along with this and then email to my husband.

Jen said...

I would buy this in poster and video form - I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING!

K.Line said...

Fantastic. You have a career in advertising. Or pre-school :-)

ShallowGal said...

Original Poster: please email us at secretspineless@aol.com (We won't tell who you are, we just have a question)

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

That was awesome!!!! Sadly, I don't think it will work, though! Maybe if there were diagrams?