Saturday, February 14, 2009

Whining: The Valentine's Day Edition

What's the story with those celebrity combination names, like Brangelina? Were they inspired by those horrid "I don't know where I end and you begin" Calvin Klein perfume ads, or what? Because those commercials always made me think of conjoined twins, which isn't the image I'm going for when scent shopping.

So, I've been obsessing over names like Brangelina (and please tell me that I'm not the only one who calls them Brangina) and Vaughnistan and thinking how unfair it is that the romances of the past have totally missed out on this kind of bonding. To remedy this wrong and to celebrate Valentine's Day, whine style, I present my Coupling Through History and invite you to submit your own!

Cleopatra & Ceasar = Cleasar

Liz Taylor & Richard Burton =Lick

Lunt & Fontanne = Luntanne

Katharine Hepburn & Spencer Tracey= Spenrine

Lauren Bacall & Humphrey Bogart= Bogall

Lucy & Desi = Lesi

Pocohantas & Captain John Smith=Pocosmith

Victoria & Albert = Vicbert

Eva & Adolf = Adolva

Eva & Juan= Juaneva

Janet & Tony=Tonnet


We are kicking off Valentine's Day Season with a whine. Because if you're like most people, you can't stand it. If you are not partnered, you hate the term "partnered" and the holiday is nausea-inducing. If you are in a relationship, you're in a no-win situation. Either fork over absurd amounts of money for flowers/chocolate/dinner or fall for that "I don't care if we observe Valentine's Day" crap and watch what happens.

So, please go ahead and submit your Valentine's Day whines by emailing them to: SecretSpineless.Whine@blogger.com (this will post to the blog automatically and anonymously, unless you sign your name/link to your blog). Of course, because we are equal opportunity whiners, you can still email your non-VD whines to the same address, but we'll put up the Valentine's Day ones in a pretty red color. And who, those "better dead than red" slogans notwithstanding, doesn't like red?! (And don't forget to join us next week for those fun "Reading posts in red ruined my eyesight" whines).

10 comments:

ShallowGal said...

Also: because our technical department hasn't rewritten the html code to recognize VD whines yet, there might be a short delay in the red-ening of your post.

Rachel said...

Who are Lunt & Fontaine?

Marinka said...

Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fonanne. Theatre folk.

Christy said...

Charles and Camilla. Charmilla.(I like that it sounds a little bit like godzilla.)

Marinka said...

Brad Pitt & Jennifer Annistor- BRAJA (omg)

blognut said...

Barack and Michelle - Barelle or Mirack

George and Laura - Who cares?

jennygirltherat said...

Lauren Bacall & Humphrey Bogart = Lumphrey

Victoria & Albert = Posh & Berts

Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers = Fringer

Gable & Lombard = Label

Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins = Sobbins

Too much fun! I can't go on, I'm exhausted...

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I like that the blog date is 2010. I had to think if I was wrong or not.

Braja said...

My husband and I would be Jaja. Yeah, right...like that's gonna fly...

underwhere? said...

Mr and Mrs Richard Nixon: Dickpat
Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love: Kurtcourt, Kurtlove or Lovebain.
Band bonus: Nirvana Hole