Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Yes, I love it. Stop glaring at me.

I don't appreciate the evil eye by you three wives when I mentioned (in confidence - we were sharing) that I'd blown my husband three times that day. By the looks of horror you gave me, you'd have thought I said I liked to darn his socks, scrub the toilets in a french maid costume and lie down at the front door so he can wipe the mud off his feet on my back. I just happen to love giving oral sex, and 20+ years of marriage hasn't changed that. Of course, I returned the look of horror when you all agreed it was best done once a year on his birthday and you'd better get a new Coach handbag for it. And I tried to explain -  it's like an entertaining toy. It's a challenge. It's an art form. You weren't buying it. Although you certainly thought he should be doing it for YOU.

I am sooooo not the weird one here.

Am I?

14 comments:

ShallowGal said...

ShallowGal pleads the Fifth.

Marinka said...

Of course you're not the weird one here. Coach bags are so over.
(and I heart you for this whine, truly).

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Laughing my ass off a hundred times over at this! Funny from point a to point b. (I will not share this with The Hubster 'cos he'll bitch and wonder why I don't give him triple "hits.")

Amanda W said...

You are my hero.

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

I agree with Marinka - at least hold out for LV!!

But seriously, YOU GO GIRL!!! I'm sure you have the happiest husband on the block, if not the city :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for making me feel normal. I thought perhaps I was the only one. We totally need a website called "girls really do love your lollipop". I think it'll be quite the hit!
teeeeheeeehehee

um, you guys don't check ip addresses, do you?

Frau said...

Your husband better be smiling everyday because he is lucky guy and he knows it! So funny I would have loved to be there for thats girls night out conversation.

Marinka said...

Of course we don't check IP addresses, Deep Throatinka!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I am ALL for having a "girls really do love your lollipop" site. Anon, you are a geee-nius!

It's totally an entertaining toy. It's totally a challenge. It's totally an art form. I feel bad for those who don't embrace it at least more than once a year!

No, writer, it's not just you, but we on Team Blow job do appear to be in the minority. And I am IN AWE that you can get him "there" 3 times in one day because after 20+ years of marriage he ain't 18 anymore. Brava!

Ann's Rants said...

I am bowing down (HA, sorry).

blognut said...

I say you should tell your uptight friends to suck it up.

I want to know who is coming up with the Team Blowjob jersey. We totally need those; and hats too.

jennygirltherat said...

Wait, Let me wipe my eyes and catch my breath -- from LAUGHING, you pervs. Reminds me of The Sweet Potato Queen's idea of Steak & Blowjob Day, the male equivalent of Valentine's Day. She may already have a Team Blowjob t-shirt, come to think of it.

SSauer said...

Are you kidding me?! "you all agreed it was best done once a year on his birthday and you'd better get a new Coach handbag for it. "

That just downright sucks! I'm with you girl. If I had the same libido you do, then I'd make my boyfriend mighty happy with 3 BJ's a day!

Way to keep the spice for both of you after 20+ years. ;o)

CSY said...

No - you're NOT the weird one. THEY are! What is it with the ladies who bitch about their hubbies not showing them enough 'attention where it counts' and then look at the rest of us when we tell them our love lives (even after 13 yrs) are better than ever! UGH! Thanks for this whine - it ROCKS!