Thursday, March 19, 2009

Because Misery Loves Company, Even if I Hate You

I wish I could do more than key your car.  I wish I could bring myself to contact your wife and tell her what a cheating, lying, faithless slut of a husband she has, but I can't because you have kids, goddamnit.  I hate that you get to continue on in your tidy, merry little life with a clueless wife and a piece on the side, one who doesn't have that inconvenient emotional crap creeping in that you said was the only thing you regretted about us.  I hate that I have to deal with the aftermath of what I did and face my consequences and you don't.  I hate that you don't even seem to care that I ignore you and won't even say hello back to you!
I wish you were as miserable as I am. I just wish it were possible without making your family miserable too, because I don't wish on them what I have done to mine.
You bastard.


Anonymous said...

I think I know that guy. I've been invited to play along in his extramarital exercise regime. He's so cold and calculated about the whole thing--yet engaging and warm and funny. And he's gotten away with that shit (and with probably 20 or more different women) for *years.*

Like you, I want so much to clue his wife in but can't because they have children (plus I don't know his last name and don't know how to find her.)

[Since the SSW blog owners will know who I am--I am compelled to say I did not sleep with the guy, but that's no judgement on anyone who has done something like that . . . ]

Anonymous said...

You could always go the extortion angle. That is, if he has enough money to pay you off without his kids suffering. Since being the other woman has been hard on your soul, you deserve a pretty new pair of soles (preferably those nice red ones)....or maybe two pairs. And some diamonds.

Anonymous said...

Having been the wife who found out on my own, I can tell you that as much as I hated (you) and as much as I hated HIM, and as much pain as it caused me to know, and as much agony as it put me through to have to make decisions that affected all of us..

I would rather know than not know. It is enough that he stepped out on me while never communicating that he was unhappy. It is enough that he never made an effort to improve our marriage. It is enough that he deceived you as much as he deceived me (because surely, you know, that 75% of what he told you was untrue..). He should not have the right to harm us both, and walk away unscathed. He should not have the right to make the decisions about the future of our marriage, when I do not know the truth of our present.

Send me a letter when you know he cannot intercept it. I need to know. I have a right to know.

And my children? They deserve better, too.

Anonymous said...

I too found out on my own, eventually. Do anonymously if you fear retribution, but let the wife KNOW.

IMO, it's always better to know you have a cancer and figure out how to deal with it than let it fester on undiagnosed.

Anonymous said...

Do her a favor and tell her. Yes, it will be awful. Yes, she will likely hate you. but you will be doing her the biggest favor of her life.

I wish someone had told me.

Missy said...

I agree. As a wife with children I would want to know. The wife probably suspects anyway. Women usually have a feeling that something isn't kosher. You will be doing her a favor in the end. Tell her.


Anonymous said...

Oh, please tell her. Women deserve husbands who are 100% present. Children deserve a father who is 100% present. Maybe not always physically present (people do have jobs, after all), but emotionally. When he thinks of kissing someone's neck, it should be his wife's neck. When he thinks of a vacation, it should be with his wife and children. When he's sitting at his desk thinking "I'd love to hear her voice right now", it should be his wife's number that he dials. When he gets out of work early and has no plans, he should be taking his kids out for ice cream and a movie....not meeting his mistress at the local Whore's Inn.

Yes, what you did was wrong and what he did was wrong. Yes, she will hate you more than anyone else on earth. Yes, she will blame you (maybe only temporarily) for "tearing apart her family." In time, however, she might become stronger and wiser and realize that her husband is the piece of shit who tore the family apart. A teeny-tiny, itty-bitty part of her might even be thankful to you for exposing her husband and his scummy ways.

In the end, those children deserve a better example to follow. They can learn that when someone does something wrong, there are consequences to be paid.

Good luck to you. Hopefully, now that you've seen how horribly this can turn out, you'll get some help and move on to healthier relationships.


Anonymous said...

I have to agree with the setiment to tell her.

I found out non too politely when I got a phone call in the middle of the night telling me to visit the local bar that he frequented. I had a 3 month old baby (his baby) at home, but I went, only to find him snuggled up with her.

I found strength I never knew I had and am so thankful that someone, anyone, finally told me the scum I had married.

Nothing is worse than thinking all is well and finding out it isn't. But I was grateful not to be living a lie anymore.