Monday, March 9, 2009

Featured Whine: Want to Plan a Party?

There are blogs that I love for their insight, poignancy and humor. I love Frogs in My Formula for being consistently hysterical and for having a mullet.

So you want to be the party planner? Fucking go ahead.

I try to socialize now that I have a child. I really do. I try to hang out with my friends and not complain about the fact that I often drive an hour or more to see them, even though they also have working cars and don’t have small children at home. Children they don’t see as much as they like because they work full time and manage a household and like to have time to shave their legs every once in awhile.

Nope, I don’t say a word.

But you know what? When I suggest that we throw a going-away party for our mutual friend and you swoop down and send out an Evite mere seconds later and the party is conveniently located at your house—again—I feel like lacing the perimeter of your house with pretty sticks of dynamite and blowing it to smithereens so we can have the party in a more mutually agreeable location.

Like, somewhere that doesn’t cost me $30 in gas to get to.

And fuck, while we’re at it, why don’t we discuss a day and time for the party, too? Cause, you know, maybe Sunday night—a night usually reserved for laundry, story time and binge drinking—doesn’t work for me. Maybe I’d like to have a Sunday brunch during my kid’s naptime at a restaurant that serves actual food so I don’t feel obliged to bake something that we all know is going to turn out like crap anyway.

But no, let’s do it your way. Your big, bad, fat butt, self-absorbed way.

Douche bag.

4 comments:

Marinka said...

What kind of person plans stuff for Sunday night? I suspect she's a Satan worshipper.

Marinka said...

What kind of person plans stuff for Sunday night? I suspect she's a Satan worshipper.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I had someone totally hijack a baby shower I was throwing and turn it to crap, so I hear ya... and why is it the hijacker comes to the victim after and says "by the way, you owe me $100 for your cut of the baby shit ice scuplture." Really, because I have a baby so I could have frozen his shit for free!!!

blognut said...

My neighbor once hijacked our New Year's Eve party like that. I bitch-slapped her (on the inside), and then I had a great time at the party. The best part of it was going home and leaving her with the mess.