Wednesday, March 11, 2009

To my 3 1/2-year-old POTTY TRAINED daughter:

When I was in the garage perusing the deep freezer to figure out what we were having for dinner tonight, I didn't think I could have possibly heard correctly. I could have SWORN I heard, "Oops, I sorry. Mommy, I'm so sorry. I so sorry I peed on the floor." I know you have speech issues and since you told me 2 days ago that a bear pooped on my bed when it was in fact the damn cat, I figured the dog must have peed on the floor.

I would love to understand why you decided to pee on the hallway floor RIGHT outside of the bathroom. You are the quickest, most physical kid I know. How the hell could you not have leapt into the bathroom in time? Are you afraid that your brother gets too much attention? I can assure you that when he shits up to his neck every other day and has to be thrown directly into the bathtub, it does NOT endear him to me...(or that damn bumbo chair - why haven't I learned my lesson yet?). And worse yet, WHY did you then have leave a trail of piss throughout the entire downstairs? Even the dog knows enough not to track it through the house after he's gone.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

WTF with the crappy formatting here? Oops! This one is mine. Had my handle in the first 5 versions which all got returned to me due to various typos when trying to send this through. Shouldn't the e-mail system KNOW I was trying to send it here and just do it already?!?!