Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Whining Between Spasms

It is officially, official. I am getting old.

I realize that this is not news to anyone who knows me, but apparently my back wanted to drive this point home. And it has.

I wish I could blame this on my heavy children who still insist I pick them up. I wish I could blame this on my husband and a wild night of contortionistic fun.

But,no. The most exciting thing I did yesterday was laundry. And today I wake up with back spasms that made getting out of bed a 15 minute process. Just turning onto my side is a scream-worthy activity. Ibuprofen, codeine, and muscle relaxants are no match for the power of these spasms.

The last time I was in this much pain, I was in labor. I guess I could try those old lamaze breathing exercises that I never used. Pant, pant, pant, pant, cleansing breath. Pant, pant, pant.

Oh, man! Now I remember why I begged for an epidural.

So what am I supposed to do? I've tried medication. I'm still in pain. I've tried breathing. What a crock. What's left? Meditation? Visualization?

Okay, I'm centering myself. I'm visualizing my back happy and healthy. I'm visualizing myself lying in a hammock on a warm, tropical beach. I'm visualizing my children running around in filthy clothes because I am never doing laundry again.

Oh, my aching back!


Marinka said...

I had this in December. Holy shit, it was awful. I ended up taking anti-inflammatories and seeing a chiropractor. But you have my deepest sympathies. Take care of yourself.

Unknown said...

Ugh...I just had this happen a few weeks ago...just as you've described it...and now I'm having pins and needles down my whole arm and hand for about 3 days due to shoulder spasms...WTF!??!! Chiropractor helped me the first time, too.

Teacher Mommy said...

Hie thee to a chiropractor, woman! Um--make sure it's a good one, though. Maybe one with an in-house massage therapist, too.