Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Anonymous Whine, Please

My dearest brother and sister-in-law,


I agreed to watch your children because I am a stay-at-home mom and because daycare costs are way too high for your budget to handle. Yet you can afford to go out to dinner 4 nights a week and to a really nice dinner and a movie on Saturday. But that's ok. I love your children. And I love that, because we don't waste money eating out every day, your children eat vegetables and fruits and healthy meals and snacks at my house.


Your children are learning and developing at a greater rate than some other children in part because I spend time reading to and with them, exploring nature, making crafts, running science experiments, taking them to the zoo and the museum and swimming and gymnastics (on my dime) and art classes sesame street on ice and gardening groups and . . . You get the picture. Or maybe you don't.


When my child is sick, I am courteous enough to let you know in case you'd prefer to keep yours home . . . And when you invariably tell me you don't want to take a day off work, I take care of my own sick child as well as your children. And it is not easy trying to keep them apart so yours don't get sick. Yet you actually lie to me when yours are sick (since I've made it clear you may not bring them to me if they are) and then act so surprised (and inconvenienced) when I call to let you know he/they threw up.


When we made our arrangement, I very generously agreed to a schedule of 7:30-4:00. This gives you thirty minutes to drive the six residential blocks to work and another twenty to drive back afterward. So why is it you routinely ring my bell at 7:10? Why do you consistently arrive at 4:15 - or worse, call to say you got busy talking and need to do "one more thing" which inevitably keeps you away until 5:00? And why (dear god, why?!) Do you excuse yourself by telling me, "well, I figured you wouldn't mind, since you're just sitting around at home." um, remember the woman who gave birth to us and who can no longer take care of herself and her house? Guess who does it for her now. And see this small human at my side? He must eat before sports practice. And see this lovely abode behind me? It must be cleaned and maintained.


But what really chaps my a$$? You lied to me last weekend when you said you were both sick and asked me if I could please take care of your kids. Instead of staying home puking and sitting on the toilet, like you told me you were, you were out shopping and "taking a much-needed break from the kids," as you told your coworker. Who is my best friend, you idiot!


There are six more weeks of school and then summer vacation. You don't know this yet, but you have that much time to find another child care provider. Idiots.


Love always,

Your devoted sister


Teacher Mommy said...

WOW. They seriously ARE idiots. If I'd landed in the cream of creams like they have, veritably GIFTED with a lovely sister like you, I would be bending over backwards to make sure you were NEVER unhappy with me.

And probably paying you too, not to mention gifting you with many gifts. Maybe even gold, frankencense and myrrh, if that's what it took.

They are, indeed, absolute IDIOTS.

Um, wanna adopt me?

shrink on the couch said...

Can I adopt you as my sister?

Seriously, what an unpleasant bind. It's so hard when you genuinely care about the well being of your niece/nephew. I hope your bro and sis-in-law wake up.

CSY said...

Oh holy COW! I'm sorry your brother and his wife are idiots. You've blessed them with something and they're taking it for granted...shame on them!

Julie said...

I'm not sure how you bite your tongue. I would be LIVID.

honeyducote said...

Did you, by chance, send them this link. I laughed so hard.

I would love to know what happens next.