Sunday, April 19, 2009

Damn Neighbour and His DOGS

Neighbour has 9 dogs. They bark. Incessantly. At other dogs. At themselves. At him. At ME. I LIVE HERE. I am ALLOWED to walk up my OWN PATH. They crap all over his (small) garden. He picks it at MOST once a month. And flicks it over the back fence to land right beside my yard. It STINKS.

He also has SEVEN cats. They slink into my garden and crap in the flower borders. And by the pool. And they piss ON MY PORCH.

Apparently he also keeps parrots, ferrets, chinchillas, some revolting reptiles and huge tanks of fish. I can detect the stench from here.

And he's not even NICE. Just fat and slobby and wears dirty baggy sweatpants, grubby t-shirts (though I believe perhaps I should not be using the plural here. I think it's just the one), and always misses bits when he shaves. And he sprays saliva when he talks.

If I could shoot, he would have considerably less animals.

grrr.

9 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

I'll be right over with my gun. and some arsenic.

TeacherMommy said...

Hmm...I'm willing to bet he's violating various animal and health codes. He sounds like a collector to me--which tends to be frowned upon by the SPCA. A nice little anonymous tip to the local Humane Society or SPCA might be in order.

Anonymous said...

I'm not the only one that has a neighbor whose cats piss on her porch? I like to open doors and windows when it is nice outside, but haven't been able to all spring because all of outside smells like cat piss. We should start a support group.

TMCPhoto said...

I'm with you on the SPCA front call anon. it sounds like his property is not healthy for human or animals

Maura said...

I agree -- you should probably consider reporting him. If it's that bad for you, imagine what it's like inside for the pets. He could, as someone above said, be a collector.

Mrs F with 4 said...

I called the town - he isn't violating anything, dammit. And he wouldn't let the SPCA in. Hey, this is rural Quebec, there IS no animal cruelty legislation.

I have, however, invested in a monstrously powerful water pistol (which will doubtless be the envy of the entire juvenile male neighbourhood), which I intend to fill with vinegar and water, and fire on the little sh.... felines from my hidden perch in the tree house. That'll sort the little buggers.

Anonymous said...

For some reason the neighborhood STRAY cats love to pee on our front and back doors. Don't tell anyone, but my hubby puts out an antifreeze/meat snack for them about once a week. When you see FOUR prego momma cats running the 'hood in one day, you get cruelly proactive. And since we can't discharge firearms in the city limits. . . . Two ideas: if you make the flower bed less comfy, we put down lava rock where they go, that discourages them from making themselves 'at home'. Also, you can put mousetraps in there and let them get nipped when they squat. A vet I know does that. We'll just resort to the antifreeze.

DouglasDyer said...

Buy a large boa constrictor and let him go under your neighbor's house. He'll think it's a freaking buffet.

Kim said...

I have 3 boa constrictors; one is 5 1/2 feet, one is 6 feet and one is 7 feet. You are welcome to borrow one (or more!).
:)