Monday, April 6, 2009

For god's sake go to bed then I can get some stuff done!

Well, in the past few months I've been upset because I know BIFF's forgotten my birthday, right up until my mum brought my gifts round a couple of days before, tipping him off that he needed to get a gift.
And then it was because he was forgetting Mothers Day.

And, of course, there's been all the other crap that he's done that he shouldn't have done, and the stuff that he didn't do that he should have done...

And, he forgot his sister's birthday on the 4th April - and, based on the fact that none of his family even sent me a card, I didn't get her anything, but out of shameful guilt, I posted a "Happy Birthday" on her FaceBook wall.... which she didn't even do on my birthday.... I didn't want our mutual friends thinking badly of me for not saying anything, since I went to college with her and we used to be good friends...

Anyway, I digress...

Today's whines are these...

  • BIFF today announced that he was going away on a Scout Camp, with 15yr old son.
That in itself, I don't have a problem with.
The issues are this:
He's told 8yo son that "it's not really a camp that he can go with them to" - which is a lie, I know that other Leaders take their kids of all ages.
It begins on Friday 19th June, and ends Sunday 21st June.

On Friday 19th June, it is 8yo's birthday, and he becomes a 9yo. How can a father willfully go away on his youngest son's birthday, and not take that son with him?
The only thing that I can think is that he's forgotten that it's the birthday that day.

  • BIFF considers himself to be our sons' "main carer" meaning that he does all the stuff for them both... and he considers we're "role-reversed" meaning that I work to financially support the family, and he does all the "housewifey" stuff...

Except it doesn't work like that.

I've just started 2 weeks off from work, and I'm spending the 2 weeks (that coincide with the kids' schools Easter Holidays) tidying, cleaning & scrubbing the house. Because in the whole time that we've lived here, he's not done it. He's never done anything more than push a vacuum round. My house is a complete tip. I'm ashamed to live here. I'm ashamed of being his wife. I'm ashamed that people look at the house and blame me for it, since it's traditionally "women's work" to keep it clean and tidy, even though they know that I work all day, all week.

So far, I've scrubbed down the porch (including using a stanley knife blade to scrape old, dried cat food off things - gross!) and the entrance hallway, and done half of the kitchen - (I have pics of how he likes to keep the kitchen, and what I make the kitchen look like when I'm in charge of the housework - )

As soon as he goes to bed, I'm starting on the other half of the kitchen.... then when its all done... I'm inviting as many people as possible round for coffee, so they can see how I like to keep the house - making sure that as many of the people who've seen the horrible state that the house is normally in see the change!


Anonymous said...

Biff should take both kids to camp. I think its TERRIBLE he would lie to poor 8yo and tell him he can't go AND its his birthday. What a wonderful bday present it would be to go off for a guys weekend with your brother and dad. Men suck.

Ruth said...

it's time for that 'time you grow up' talk ... you know, 'time you grow up and work with me as a partner in this thing (or this thing will be screwed) and 'you can clean it, or I'll take money from **** thing you think you really have to have and use it to pay a cleaner' or ... I have a ton of them. Sigh. My husband tries very hard, but underneath (and the underneath of the house shows it) he's still a slob! :)