Friday, April 24, 2009

Hands off My Uterus!

Dear Co-Workers, Family Member, Friends, Acquaintances, and Complete Strangers;
I am not pregnant. I do no intend to be pregnant for at least another 2 years. Please stop asking me when my husband and I are going to have a baby. It's a very personal question. That's like asking someone how much they weigh or how much they make. The answer is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! I realize that these are my prime baby making years. I realize that you all can practically hear my ovaries vibrating. I know you want grandbabies/ cousins/ nieces/ nephews/ yet another reason to ask me personal and intrusive questions in the grocery despite the fact that you are complete stranger (seriously old woman if you touch my stomach again I WILL hurt you. There is NO BABY.) Husband and I have no money and we've been married for roughly 15.7 minutes. Please stop telling me "Well there's never a perfect time to have a baby" and then winking at me. I am aware of this but perhaps we should put it off a bit until maybe we are not eating ketchup sandwiches at the end of the month until we get paid again. I'm begging you, stop asking me. Just stop. I promise I will tell you, but for now, keep your mitts off my uterus!

3 comments:

Carmen said...

"But, you have so much to give!" says my mother-in-law. Apparently she doesn't know me.

Anonymous said...

Haha! No one has yet told me that. From what I can tell I am expected to pop a child out and then my family will be in charge when its being pleasant. I only get to hold it when its crying or smells.

phd in yogurtry said...

How about "But then we'd have to have sex, right?"