Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Guns and Asshole

Dear Diminutive Asshole
You don't work here. Why are you here? You are the rudest little prick I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. Just because you are the bosses son does not give you the right to come up here and act like king shit of turn mountain (though I'm sure that's a competition you would win) This is an office. I do not care how much you cheated on your last test (though I am fully intending to call the school and tell them about it) I do not give a crap about what kind of gun you are planning to buy and carry around with you at all times. I realize that you have a lot to compensate for, and that carrying a gun might make you feel like a big man but your going to have to trust me on this. There is no amount of armory or ammunition that is going to turn you into a decent human being or a man. You are an immature child and nothing better than a filthy little toe rag. I really wish you would just leave. And for the love of god, wash you hair and get it cut! You look like you live under a bridge. I really wish you could hear what we all say about you when you leave you little asshat. Literally no one likes you. Actually we all think your are a prick.
Also, might I just add that I am completely thrilled that you have stopped speaking to me. I must have really hurt your feelings last week when I refused to change MY radio station on MY computer to your shitty music while you were up here NOT working. Apparenly noone has ever told you "No" before or spoken to you in a manner which you deserve (yes, I was quite rude) but if your reaction is to stop talking to the people who do, I will have to spread the word. I must tell you though, that coming into a room and saying hi to everyone but me and then giving me the stink eye lacks subtlety. What good is being a little asshole if your not even going to do it well?  Leave my office now you 18 year old shithead. You have no business being here. Get out before I use your skinny ass as a javelin and toss you out the 5th story window.


Anonymous said...

a skinny ass as a javelin = Awesome

Anonymous said...

Open an anon email account, and email the boss with all the info that the son's been spouting in the office, and explain that you know this because your friend, who works there told you about it.

Suggest that the boss stops the son's behaviour immediately or you'll be forced to pass the cheating info on to school and the gun info on to the cops.

Email yourself 1st to double check that it really is anon and not traceable.... and don't send it from a computer at work coz they ususally track IP addresses.

Anonymous said...

I wish it were that easy (sigh) His daddy knows all about his asshole behavior and is in fact the original source. He's no better. Boyjerk makes no secret of his illicit activities and sits in the middle of the office telling everyone in a loud voice about them. And sadly I live in a redneck state where an 18 year old can purchase a gun and a concealed weapon permit....sigh. Good idea though. Pity his dad is such a jerk too.

Anonymous said...

I know just the kind! Aahhh, this little rant made my day! Glad I stumbled in here (via the brilliant Anna Lefler) and adding you to my blog roll.