Tuesday, May 5, 2009

To Whom It May Concern,


How f#cking hard is it to hang up the hand towel after you've used it to dry your hands? What is it that you have to do that is so important that you can't spend the extra 4 seconds it takes to hang the towel back up, so you leave it crumpled on the counter instead?

Are you f#cking blind? Can you not see that stack of laundry or that grocery bag of toiletries sitting on the bench in the foyer? For four years, I've been placing things that need to be carried upstairs on this bench. And for four years you've been walking right past the bench and the stacks or bags or whatever happens to be sitting on the bench, and walking right up the stairs empty-handed.

Every day with the coffee spills. Every. F#cking. Day. A sticky trail of coffee from the kitchen, through the mudroom, and out the back door. I bought you two travel mugs. With lids! Use them!

Are you f#cking kidding me? You're going to sit there at the kitchen table and ask me what the date is when there is a calendar - wait, two calendars - hanging right behind you on the fridge? Is the effort required for you to turn your neck and focus your eyes too much for you to handle?

Apparently, your interpretation of my job description is misguided. I am neither your mother nor your maid.


Sincerely,

Your Wife


3 comments:

Marinka said...

I hate hanging up the towel too. But other people not hanging up theirs? Hello, homicide!

Maura said...

What is this f#cking you keep referring to? I can't fucking understand it.

Anonymous said...

i saw this male comic - -he said if you want your husband to do something just say "pick the towel up dick" and walk away and say nothing else - it will get done - it really works.