Friday, May 8, 2009

Unstructured, bad-grammared, tired after a long day, ranty whinge.

So, after 16 years without a proper job, kicking you out then letting you come back again a few days later seems to have spurred you in to action and you've got a job.
But you're acting like you've done something HUGE, something monumental. The way you're behaving, anyone would think that you'd made some HUGE sacrifice.
Nope, you're now doing what you should have been doing all that time.
Don't expect the equivalent of a round of applause.
You're not a toddler being encouraged to use a potty.
There are no "mummy-rewards" for finally contributing financially to the upkeep of your family. (You're paid less than I am, so you're not yet making an equal contribution, AND you have over a decade to catch up on)
What? You don't like that? Tough, I've been doing it all this time and you've never once thanked me for paying the mortgage or earning money for our food, or to pay the electricity bills etc.
I've had no round of applause for working full-time and missing seeing my sons growing up and taking their first steps.
You've laid down the law about what time you must leave the house in the morning, and it's by 8:20am.
OK - so just go. Don't start stamping around at 8:15am saying "I need to leave now" - we know, just get your gear on and go.
We're not stopping you. You're behaving like a child who is running away "Look, I'm running away now, and you're not going to stop me!" (In secret hope that someone's going to stop them)
You arrive home anytime between 5:30pm and 6:30pm
When you get home, don't whine if your meal isn't ready or its cold. I'm not psychic. I made food for the kids at 5:30pm. I made an extra setting for you, if you're home late, then yes, it will be cold, so the next day, I make food to be ready by 6:30pm and you get home at 5:30pm and complain because you're hungry and the food will be another hour. Oh grow up! Have a slice of bread or a drink of water and wait! Give it a minute in the microwave if the food is cold.
When you were home all day, doing nothing except school runs, regularly you wouldn't have the food ready until 7pm, even on a school night, which means that so far, I'm doing better than your track record.
We've swapped from you taking the kids to and from school every day, to me doing it.
You're suddenly not even slightly interested in how the kids are being cared for at all.
I was expecting a 50% stake when it came to sorting out childcare, not the attitude that you appear to have developed overnight where Childcare is woman's work. You're just plainly not interested at all in how our 8yr old is getting home from school (We don't have yellow busses in England) or who's caring for him until I finish work.
I've had to jump through hoops at work to arrange to finish at 3pm every day instead of my normal 4pm. And there are further, higher, flaming hoops to jump through in order to change so that I don't have to work in the school holidays. I'll jump through them though, because I want to have the chance to spend time with my sons. No, I'm not expecting a round of applause for doing it. What I am expecting is happier children who know that mum's there for them when they need her, and I'm there even when they're not so keen on having me around, and I'm not just letting them spend all day of the summer holidays playing XBox like you do.
But, I guess I've brought all this on myself by insisting that you "be a man" and provide for your family.
You weren't providing for us emotionally, intellectually or financially before, so I guess that now you have a job, I will have to settle for you almost providing one out of the three (for now)
(And yes, I'm still worried that you only got the job so that you'd have a chance at getting custody of the boys, because when I threw you out you realised that you didn't have a hope in hell of gaining custody as you'd no means of supporting them.
Once I've changed my working pattern permanently to Term-Time, I'll still have the advantage, as I will be providing for them in all 3 ways, and by being able to be there when they're not in school. So don't be smug, you haven't won, and you won't win this one.)


Marinka said...


At least he's working. But OMG about the stomping around with the "I have to leave now" threats. I really hope that it all works out, it sounds incredibly stressful.

Teacher Mommy said...

It must be exhusting being the only parent of not two but three children.

Anonymous said...

I know a couple of men (my brother, my ex-brother-in-law) like this. I go to school full time and I take care of four kids (and my husband does the same, he's one of the good guys most of the time) but these guys seem to think that anything they do should be rewarded. Hey, I moved off the couch today! Lookit me!

Maybe we should all start carrying around doggie treats and patting them on the head while saying "good boy".