Thursday, May 21, 2009

What you say: "I wish I could give blood, but I have these little tiny veins."

What I hear: "You have big ugly man veins."

What you mean: "I'm too chicken-shit to give blood so I'm using this excuse I once heard someone use in college."

What you should say instead: "I can't give blood, I have syphilis."

And stop eying my Oreos, you syphilis-riden whore. I worked hard for these.


Anonymous said...

I'm a bloodmobile reject due to low iron.

Oh, and also I'm a syphilis-riden whore.

262mom said...

What you say: I wish I could give blood but I don't weigh enough.

What I hear: You are a cow

What you mean: I am glad I am not a cow like you.

And yes, I have syphillis and chlamydia but I am not a whore.

Unknown said...

I play that game with what people say, too!

I won't steal your oreos, but I don't give blood cuz needles freak me the hell out. So good on you and your veins whatever size they may be.

Desiree said...

ROTFL! I tell people I'm a vampire. I'm impervious to needles.

Last said...

I laughed, marathon mom, because I signed up all eager to donate my life-juice and then found out that I really don't weigh enough. If I did, being so freakily little, I would be clinically overweight. :D