Thursday, June 4, 2009

Mourning

Barring a miracle, which I knew could happen but still a miracle, I think my marriage is over.  I'm a very strange mixture of numb and in agony right now.  And I'm really angry with him for being so incapable of compassion or willingness to not be in control or not think he is the only one who has been hurt.
 
I don't know whether I even love him any more.  I don't know if I even WANT to be married to him. 
 
But the real tragedy is the two little boys whose family is being ripped apart.

7 comments:

Nicole said...

That is a shitty situation, I know, I have been there. You will get on and learn to be happy. It has taken us 6 years to be where we are now. Friends with each other and parents. Keep your head up, it will all get better!

dizzblnd said...

I am sorry to hear that. BUT sometimes, it really is better for the kids this way, especially if you fight all the time. They need to grow up feeling secure and knowing what it's like to act like a man.

Everything will work out the way it's supposed to be, have faith in that, try to be positive as much as you can. You will be much happier in the ong run and so will your kids

Rachel said...

So sorry. In my experience, you know the marriage is over when you DON'T care any more. When you will be just as happy to walk away. Maybe your agony means try just a bit more?

And don't worry about the kids. The fact that you are so concerned shows you're a great mom and that you will make SURE your kids will be okay, no matter what.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Nicole...it will get better. It is also six years later for us, and we all are doing well. We are better parents, and now friends. I even babysit occasionally for him and his new wife...they have a beautiful little girl. My son has a many people in his life that love him. If you would have said to me 6 years ago that things would turn out to be so civil, so friendly, I would have laughed!!! It is what you make it....

Manic Mommy said...

So sorry. I have no words of wisdom.

Anonymous said...

You are not alone! thanks for sharing and making me less alone in my divorce as well. Good Luck Sister!

SolitaryAngel said...

I've been there, too, and I have 2 pieces of advice if you don't mind:

1. Your son will be ok if he thinks YOU'RE ok
2. Don't be afraid of change! That's what the weird feeling in your chest is.

Good luck!