My Dearest Hubs,
The past two days I've realized that inside that 29 year old, muscled up, oh-so-manly body of yours hides a 4 year old girl. I realize that your dental work has been painful. I also realize you clearly aren't accustomed to such pain. However, the whining, moaning, and groaning performances you've given me since Tuesday are simply too much for me to handle any longer. Yes, dental work is painful. We've all been there. And some of us (gasp!) have actually experienced real (non-dental) pain in our lifetimes. Hard to imagine, I know. Your measly little tooth pain isn't enough to "haul ass to the emergency room RIGHT NOW for a morphine drip." Sorry kid. They'd laugh us out of the damn waiting room.
So my dear, listen closely. Grow a pair. Take some percocet. And shut the fuck up.
-Your loving and adoring wife