I have been crazy about you for 17 years. I talk to your sister, your brothers and your parents fairly regularly, even though we all live 800 miles apart now. You have never been as closely involved with anyone as you have with me. You changed your phone number in July and still haven't bothered to tell me the new one.
I got a postcard today from a guy I had one date with two months ago. He lost his phone (and my number) in a river and wanted to make sure that I knew he hadn't blown me off. Asked me to please call.
You are history.