Dear Internet Imbecile,
Yes, we gave you a FREE listing on our web site. Yes, YOU did change your name two years ago. Yes, Google is still finding you under that name. Yes, OUR web site has you listed correctly. NO. NO. NO. I cannot change the way Google lists you. And telling me it is entertaining, interesting and fake giggling will not get it to change. Deep sighing will not help in any way either.
Please contact the Google Gods for further assistance
Signed Not Google