|I decided to help a family out and watch their daughter 2-3 days a week for them while they work this summer (for no pay). In fact, it's costing me money b/c I have to feed her throughout the day! Their daughter is the same age as my daughter (7) and they are great friends. Well, today they have been butting heads and my daughter is upset and just wants her space. It got so bad at one point that my daughter was crying. I feel like having this girl over so often is becoming too much for my daughter and now I feel bad that I ever offered. |
How do I get out of this one? Ugh.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Good Grief, if it didn't sell last week just drop it off at the Sally Ann
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I need an interpreter and maybe Super Nanny. Hell, any nanny.
And even that doesn't drown out the sound.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
On the other hand, the fact that I'm still eating them despite the Nestle cookie dough recall due to E Coli contamination suggests that perhaps a dim bulb like me deserves stale cookies.
In my defense, I didn't know about the recall till I'd already baked them and eaten three. Having eaten three, why bother stopping?
Stale, E Coli laden cookies anyone? Yumm...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Read my column at timesdaily.com
Visit my blog at cathylwood.wordpress.com
My kids decided to have those ramen noodle soup cups for breakfast. And six-year-old son decided to make one to share with two-year-old son. He put it in the microwave for 2 1/2 minutes just like mommy told him. And then the stench began to waft through the house. Big brother opened the microwave door and the acrid smoke poured out. He didn't know he was supposed to put water in it. So now we're trying to get burned noodle/foam smell out of the microwave, the house, our clothes and our hair. Yummy smell.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Because I'm the one planning on spending my summer perler-beading.
When your daughter is diagnosed as having Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease (or, illness, whatever), must you continue to bring her to daycare to infect all the other children, seriously? I believe your Mother of the Year award is hanging by a thread at this point, and the fact that you’re offended because I won’t take my children to daycare while your child is there, just goes to show that you’re an inconsiderate moron. Thanks for allowing me to take some sick time off work this week to stay home with my children in an attempt to avoid the Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease. Daytime television, anyone??
Sunday, June 14, 2009
|So, my 18 year-old step-daughter, who is on our insurance, had a bladder infection this weekend. Instead of attempting to treat her symptoms with some home remedies or OTC products to get her through to the point where she could go to the dr's on Monday or even take her to the Urgent Care, idiot bio-mom decided to take her to the ER. Okay, fine. But can you at LEAST take her to the ER that is on our insurance since they're both about 2.3 miles from your house? Oh, you can't? Because you're an idiot who loves a good drama? Okay, fine. Well, guess what? She's 18 and out of high school. WE no longer have to pay every single fucking bill that you run up for that child! Suck that bitch!|
It has been lurking on the edges of my awareness for a few days, as I fervently prayed it would turn out to be naught but a nasty allergic reaction to the many, many floaties the cottonwood trees have been sailing about, but alas...
So I've been sitting in my pjs since the unearthly hour of eight pee-em, sniffling into a stray Kleenex or two from the two dozen or so that the kidlets strewed (have strewn? strew? I should know this) about the Skyhouse this morning during their now daily Let's Drive Mama Insane morning antics. Little did I realize that they were simply preparing my immediate area for Snot Emergencies. Next thing you know I'll discover that those cereal crumbs and juice-soaked sheets come in handy for a midnight snack.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
She spent the better part of our visit recounting her lunch date earlier that day, where her friend's daughters "kept going on and on" about how "hot" her son/my husband is. How he's sooooo good-looking, he could be a model. How he could get any woman he wanted. How nobody would believe that he's married, with children.
"I don't think <my name> knows how lucky she is, with such a hot-looking husband!"
Meaning what? I'm such a fucking ugly dog-face that I should be grateful she allowed her "hot" son to have sex with me multiple times? I'm really not a jealous person, but the fact that I know she said these things to get under my skin infuriates me. And it infuriates me because I know she said these things knowing that it could create discord for us, at a time when we're already struggling to keep our marriage together. And it infuriates me that I let her infuriate me.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
|Dear Foot Doctor|
When I ask you what can be done In regards to my debilitating painful plantar fasciitis you telling me "You need to loose some weight, and you have to stay off your feet" is unhelpful. WTF man?? Do you listen to yourself when you speak? That sentence is a complete oxymoron. (unlike you, just a plain moron) How the hell am I supposed to do that? I also love how any time there is ever ANYTHING wrong with a heavy person is it immediately attributed to their weight. Because as we all know, thin people never ever get ill. It's a proven fact right? Clearly and all heavy people are grossly unhealthy and don't deserve any real medical treatment. No no, just the standard medical cure all for fat people "Just loose some weight" Apparently all of life's problems would be solved by simply dropping that extra weight b/c as we have established, all thin people are happy and healthy. God forbid you should actually spend 5 minutes trying to diagnose or treat us. Staying off my feet is not an option, especially if I am to continue to loose weight, so you need to come up with something better.
Pissed off Patient
They don't have rain boots because if I bought them rain boots, it would never ever rain again and all our rivers would dry up and we'd all be dehydrated and die.
I hope that you all appreciate my sacrifices for the good of the planet.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
old boy and his friend playing basketball in the road across the street.
Well I'm up now. They are just lucky I didn't go on a drinking binge
last night or they'd be wearing that basketball in a hole where it won't
Maybe I'll go sit on the front porch and watch them play.. that ought to
creep em out!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Please don't tell the Russians.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
When I read your blog and you’re begging for support for a mission trip and I feel compelled to give you my compulsive shoe shopping money to help out (because we’re real-life friends), and I don’t get so much as a “thank you for your kindness” e-mail, letter, phone call or slap in the face, know that my feelings are a little hurt by that. I hope my money helped out and that you
get stung by a mass of mosquitoes have fun!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
|Multiple choice questions:|
1. Your employee of over a year is consistently incapable of doing her job, frequently screws up simple tasks, constantly has to ask the same question over and over again and still manages to get it wrong, is rude to customers, has basically no skills. What is the proper course of action?
A) Fire her
B) Demote her
C) Send her back to training until she CAN do the job she is paid to do.
D) Find another employee who CAN do the job and then make her spend hours correcting all the stupid mistakes made by the incompetent employee. Never tell the incompetent employee that she has made any kind of mistake and allow her to continue to screw up every document that crosses her desk.
If you picked D, you must be my boss.
2. Your roll as boss is to:
A) Make sure your employees are doing their jobs properly
B) Make sure your employees show up for their scheduled shifts
C) Oversee the work being done in your office
D) Sit in your office with your feet on your desk and the light turned out watching Star Trek on line with the volume turned all the way up so that everyone on the entire floor can hear it and occasionally walk around the office making train noises before returning to your office.
Again, if you picked D, you must be my boss,
Seriously, I need a new job. Can someone please pass me the help wanted section?
Kate in K-Town
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
JUST DO YOUR JOB
Please stop whining about how other people are treated better than you. Please stop talking about how it isn’t fair that the company allows some people to do a less than “acceptable” job and does not hold people accountable. WE ALL KNOW THAT. Guess what? You AREN’T such a wonderful employee. You have a special arrangement and therefore are not even working the 8 hours a day that you are paid for. You commute sucks, you have no time with your family, you work so hard…we all know and are tired of hearing it.
SHUT UP AND DO YOUR DAMN JOB!
Monday, June 1, 2009
|When your fax does not go through, there is no need to come and tell me about it. Simply wait 5 minutes and try it again. If it fails a second time, once again, wait 5 minutes and try again. If it fails a 3rd time, it is possible that you have the wrong number. Go look it up and try again. Do not bring me the piece of paper that says "line busy" and tell me the fax machine is broken. First off, "Line busy" generally means the line is busy, and secondly, even if the fax machine were broken, I am in no way qualified to fix it. Seriously people.|
|So, I left for vacation on May 21st. I came back today, June 1st (we had a great time). When I returned to my office however, I found a GIANT pile of papers in the fax tray as well as in the communal in box. Care to guess the date that they started piling up? If you guesses May 21st, you are correct. Now, I realize that I was gone for over a week. I know it may have been frightening for you when the fax machine started beeping and spitting out paper but I assure you, that's what it is supposed to do. Now, the follow up step to that would be to take the paper off the fax machine and give it to the person it belongs to. You see that thing at the top there? That's a name. Try to match it to another person in the office. However, simply grabbing any and all papers off the fax machine and dropping them in the in box is not acceptable. Can someone please explain to me why in an office with 11 other people, not one single fax was distributed in my absence? And can someone further explain to me why I was the one who got yelled at when the fax (which came in last Friday when I was not even here) did not reach the appropriate person until today? WTF people? WTF?|
Did you ever see that Staples commercial where all the people are all "Oh Ann, can you magically make more paper appear in the copier?" Yeah, that's my life. All you people in my office are just pathetic.