Saturday, February 6, 2010

My kid's not a turtle

I know we were friends before I popped out a kid, and I'm sure you
miss spending time with just me. But seriously, your email inviting me
to see your new apartment? The one where you wrote "The kid can stay
at home?" Bite me. I'd rather see my kid than spend a weekend at your
apartment hearing about how you still wax your ex's balls. I'd rather
read my kid bed time stories than picture some dude's hairless nuts. I
love you. I really do. But enough with the testicles—and lack of tact.