Monday, March 22, 2010

Dear Evil Stepfather:

We sure have had our differences, haven't we? I know it was unforgivable of me to hate you all those years you beat the holy shit out of my mother, all the times we ate ketchup sandwiches because you drank up all the grocery money. All the times we kids went to school with no lunch (or breakfast), and those winters we frequently had no jackets. We went 4 years without hot water because you refused to pay the bill. We went that long without having TV to watch either—although it didn't stop you from waking us up in the middle of the night (on a school night), and making us sit on the couch, where we could neither speak, move nor look at anything until you got tired of the game and passed out. That was your favorite game, wasn't it?

Then I got old enough for college; college that you refused to help ME pay for, although you paid both my older sister's way through college (even though they were both married), and my younger brothers too—because your business was making so much money. I never said anything when you bought my baby brother a brand-new Corvette as his first car, when I was given a '78 Granada. I simply moved out and got married. Then came the "keep Kim away from her mother" game which continued until I finally said fuck it and just quit having anything to do with the whole lot of you.

After you started coughing up blood I was so happy! I just knew you'd die soon and I could have my family back---but no dice. You just stopped drinking and smoking, extending your miserable life 20 more years. But you know what, all these things were NOTHING---compared to what you did to me and my son in 2005; see, we were living in Biloxi---less than 3 miles from the water in 2005. We went to stay at a friend's house not far away and that's the only reason we survived Katrina; when we finally were able to check on our mobile home (which the battered women's shelter we were staying in found for us), it was gone. So we came home to Mama, thinking surely it was ok to stay there a couple weeks til we could find somewhere else to live. But YOU told my mother we'd have to leave. You didn't care that we had just lost everything. That was the last straw. We left and I never saw you again because 5 months later the cancer that you'd been refusing to see a doctor about finally killed you. Understandably to me, I chose not to attend your funeral, as I would not have been able to resist my urge to dance in the aisle, laugh out loud, and spit on your worthless carcass. But apparently it wasn't understandable to the rest of my family because they ALL disowned me and my son. So even though you're dead you cost me my whole fucking family. I hope it was worth it to you.

Signed,

Kim, the red-headed stepchild

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I'd think we had the same stepfather except you didn't mention being loaned out to his friends for sex at 9 years old.

Katie said...

I don't know exactly what to say, but I need to say something. There are people out there who understand -- who maybe haven't gone through the exact same thing, but something similar and can understand. Those people (and there are a lot of us out in the big, big world) are dancing with you that he's dead and gone, and mourning with you the loss of your family. Not only today, but in the past. The loss of the family you should have had, the safety, security, and love every child deserves. I'm so sorry this is the road you've had to travel and I hope and pray the road becomes smoother and easier. For both your sake and your son's.

HUGS!

Kim said...

Anonymous, he didn't molest me (or have me molested), he saved that for his oldest daughter. I'm so sorry that you were.

Kim said...

Thank you Katie...I celebrate quietly every February 12th---the day he died. You've made me feel like I'm not alone, and for that I can't express my gratitude enough. Dammit, you made me cry!

((((hugs))))

Anonymous said...

can only send ((hugs)) as I cannot relate. sometimes writing it down can make you feel somewhat better.. I hope it did.

Renee said...

*dancing with you* The world is a better place without this miserable excuse for a human being. There's no shame in saying that or feeling it, though certain people would have us think so. I'm so sorry for what you and your son have gone through and I hope that with him, you will create the loving and accepting family you deserve.

I hope you and he are able to move on from that part of your life and be stronger, better people for it.

Anonymous said...

I don't even know this man and I hate him. Sorry, I know it is not nice to hate. I wish I could go back in time and have him arrested, call child services, anything to get him away from you and your siblings. I am so sorry you had to live through this. I am however, happy you and your son are together and likely having a nice life despite your lack of family. You guys are your own family now and that's all your son needs... you. Hugs and all the best for your bright future. Feb 12th rules!

Kim said...

It's amazing how much better you guys have made me feel! Thank you so much...

Not Too Old said...

Kim, I'll be your family. My family will be your family, and they don't even know about you. I would love to be a grandma or aunt or whatever to your son.

Your family is stupid and I hope you can learn to pity them rather than hate them. Or as I just suggested, blow them off and make your own family.

Kim said...

@ Not Too Old: DEAL!!!! My son and I decided to make our own family. Welcome! :)