Monday, July 26, 2010

No wonder I have trouble counting calories...

If I buy a ready-mixed SlimFast I get 325mls of shake.
If I buy the powder and mix it with milk, the directions say to only use 250mls of milk.
Yet they both count as a full meal - and one is nearly a quarter more than the other?
But it also means that I can't use the empty bottle to measure my own shakes in! Ggggrrrrr!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Bad Friend!

The Dog that I have owned for 10 years just recently passed away and after getting over the initial shock of the matter I turn to my best friend who knew how much my dog meant to me and is a fellow dog lover, so I thought out of anyone she would understand but boy was I wrong. So I IM her at first trying to make casual conversation asking how her weekend had been. After she went on and on about how spectacular her weekend was the conversation ends without her asking me how I had been. After five minutes she begins talking all about her self again (very typical) I had to interrupt her mid sentence to say my dog died her response is....."Are you kidding" followed by the cliché I'm sorry call me if you need anything. So three days go bye and I have not heard a word from her, even though I was online for an hour while she was she could not be bothered to IM me ( I always have to IM little princess first) Finally on the third day she text me to cancel plans for tomorrow. Even though I was really upset with her we starting talking again and made plans for the upcoming weekend which she cancelled to go to the city, with her other friends that I am also friends with, to go to a museum she knew I would be interested in. She could have invited me but she chose not to, why? I've known her for a while and it doesn't take a while for me to figure out that she wanted to look the best out of everyone and apparently I did not fit in that equation. She is one of those girls who is self conscious when she needs a little ego boost, but honestly she is the most cocky person I have every met. And I really hope she does not try to talk to me to tell me how fabulous her weekend is because I will tell her how disgusting she truly is and how self centered she is because apparently "she does give a shit about people" Yeah right you're so stupid.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Bail out this Farm!

My daughter spent $285 on "gems" for the FREE "farm story" game on her ipod. How do those game developers sleep at night?

And WTF is the connection between farms and gems anyway?

(Yes, I should have noticed that she somehow figured out the itunes
password and shouldnt have linked my credit card to the account. Hell,
I got what I deserved letting a 9 year old child even have an iTouch.
I'm a miserable mother. I just wish I were a miserable mother with an
extra $285)


My biggest fear about quitting working and staying at home with my children is how BORING I would become. Not bored, but boring. I love my stay-at-home-mom friends. Really, I do. And I respect what they do for their families. But they are the most boring bunch of people I know.

About Bob the Builder

Congrats on your new room addition. I've been really patient, but so far it has taken Bob 3 weeks just to remove the roof from your 2 car garage. How much longer do you think it's gonna take? Do you think that maybe he should get some more guys up there to help out? Maybe some younger ones that look like Justin Timberlake? Shirts optional - I'm flexible. I don't know, it seems like during these dog days of summer there are probably some junior high boys that would love to help demo some stuff for like, free pizza??  In the meantime, is it OK of I put some stuff in your big commercial dumpster? I have some closets and stuff to clean out and your driveway is closer than the household dropoff plus they only let me "drop" twice a month.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


1. Morbid obesity

2. Toothless baby mamas

3. Prison tats of Jesus and/or marijuana

4. Babies drinking Dr. Pepper

5. Wet XXXL Tweety Bird tank tops

6. Visions that will haunt my dreams for the rest of my fucking life

Saturday, July 10, 2010

INTERESTING, isn't it? HR was all ready to give me a 2 week suspension
without pay due to you and your little friends saying I had used the N
word when talking to and about you and how I threatened you with
physical violence UNTIL I told them my attorney was involved. Now that
you cannot give a date or time or any evidence to the LIE you told, HR
isn't so eager to be on your side. Interesting....

Friday, July 9, 2010

Zit whine

Seriously? I have gorgeous skin alll summer (spent with children) and suddenly the weekend I plan on spending with exciting new people I grow mt. pimple right on my CHEEK! Dude...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lindsay Lohan is Going to Jail!

So she tried to sob her way out of it, by saying things like "I'm not taking this as a joke, it's my life and it's my career."

But here's the thing, LoHo--it's not just your life. It's the lives of others that you endanger by driving drunk.

I'm delighted that she'll be locked up.

Friday, July 2, 2010


s my daughter with the sprained ankle supposed to put no weight on her foot when you doctors won't give her crutches?  The ER doctor didn't send her home with any -- and I was too relieved that it was just a sprain to think to ask.  Her primary care doc decided to defer to the Orthopaedist -- who I just found out wasn't planning to see her until Tuesday though PC doc wanted her seen last night because of worsening symptoms.  So here we are, hauling an 11 year old up and down stairs and watching her hop on one foot to get to the bathroom, in and out of the dr's offices and hospital.  Idiots.