Thursday, August 26, 2010

I'm Single and My Life is Boring

It's times like this where it just suddenly hits me: I'm single and my life is boring.
It's a holiday night, it's right after exam results, and I'm not out partying with my friends and celebrating. Dear god, my nearest friend is fifty miles away anyway. No: instead, I'm sat inside with my laptop on my knees, reading badly-written racy amateur fiction on FictionPress.com. I put on makeup and got dressed up to go and do my grocery shopping at ASDA today because I go out so little that ASDA seems like the place to wear four-inch heels. I've never gone out clubbing in my life, because I prefer to spend my money on silly clothes with sillier names from designer labels nobody's heard of and so I'm flat broke most of the time. I don't even drink or smoke, but I do dress like a crazy little Victorian girl with a floral pattern obsession, and the most human contact I get in a day is the stares when I walk down the street to get another bottle of flavoured water.

And, you know, I'm not quite sure how this happened. Because most of the time I feel all WHOO YEH! I'M SINGLE! NO RISK OF ARBITRARY HEARTBREAK! and then things go wrong a bit, I lose my job in a budget cut, I struggle with the rent and my landlady shouts at me, my growing student debt waves a cheerful hand with the latest letter, and it hits me like OH FUCK, I'M SINGLE. My last courtship was several years ago, and it lasted two months; a neurotic, clingy dork with no respect for personal boundaries. No, make that my only courtship. Ever.
Maybe it's something to do with the fact that I use words like 'courtship', but it strikes me that not being disablingly ugly, thick or having disgusting habits, I really should be able to find someone. Nay, by all accounts I'm a pretty and intelligent young woman, and I still can't find a date. If the fifty-ton man could get a girlfriend, what the hell's stopping me?

...Or maybe I should just get out more.

Yours,
A Grateful, yet Anonymously Sad Singleton

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What holiday did I miss?

harborheld said...

Me too. Well okay, not single right now but I feel you on the rest. I haven't found a job, have no money so don't want to go out to spend it, and have no desire to be social. I hang out with my friend's 8 month old more than anyone my own age.

Not that I want you to be unhappy or boring but god it helps to know I'm not the only one... and I hate writing this because wow, how self-pitying and lazy. Why don't we just get off our asses and do something? I don't know. I don't know.

Anonymous said...

Oh, it could be worse. You could be married for five years, have given up your family and friends to move across country to give your husband a chance to start his career just to find out that, two years ago, he slept with a girl who is now telling him she's in love with him and soon he can leave his wife because she's been waiting for him.

Oh yeah, they did it in my bed, while I was at work, after he put our twins down for a nap in the next room and our son was playing on the computer downstairs.

So be grateful that all you have to worry about is yourself and no one else.