Thursday, September 16, 2010

My whine

You had to be the first. First to get an awesome job. First to get married. First to buy a house. First to have a baby. First to have a second baby. First to get a serious illness. First to die. Now I just want to talk to you, but you have the nerve to be dead. How could you leave me and what will I do with the rest of my long life without you.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I want to rename our wireless router BITCHASS and broadcast it and see how my HOA handles complaints about that. 

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Chocolate Coated Whine

I started a new healthy lifestyle, I eat right, I exercise most every day, I have lost 14lbs in one month. Everything is going great during the day. However, every night this week I have dreamed of Reese's peanut butter cups and Snickers bars. The sub-conscience runs deep...sigh.

I may be mocked but I'm willing to take the chance...

Here's a whine for ya...

I'm thin. Not ghostly, bone protruding thin, but for an over forty
year old woman I am doing all right, sort of. I work out, eat right,
eat wrong, I am raising 4 children (two of whom will be in high school
this coming fall), I drink wine. I also complain about my body. I
complain about my expanding waist and my sagging boobs. The weight is
creeping up and no one likes that I want to complain about it. Yes,
you heard right - I'm complaining and I say we thin gals have a right!
My friends roll their eyes when I tell them it's hard to find a size 3
(2s can be snug on the old butt and 4s bag on my waist). "Oh such
problems," they mutter - not so I can't hear them, mind you. I get it.
People want to be thin, but I am watching things happen to my body,
too. Why can't I complain about them? I have a belly roll. I don't
like my belly roll. Why do you laugh when I show it to you? My butt
has gotten bigger, it has! And it depresses me. Do I have to have a
butt you could land a plane on for you to acknowledge that my bigger
self icks me out like yours does? Let us thin friends into your circle
of misery, that's all we ask. I want to be able to say to you "Oh, I
shouldn't have that" when we both stare at the double chocolate layer
cake and have you tell me "no, you shouldn't". I want you to nod your
head in understanding when I complain that I DO need Spanx under that
new dress and I want you to mean it!!!
Diane Kutney

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Get a Grip

We've been married 13 years.  And have 5 amazing children.  Have survived crap that would tear other couples apart and been happy.  The best couple I know.  And now?  For some reason you've decided to be an idiot.  Honey, the Good Ship Irresponsible sailed 14 years ago.  You better get a grip and pull it together.  Quickly.  Or it's going to get uglier than you could ever imagine.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Who names a hurricane Earl?

Now I can't get that Dixie Chicks song "Goodbye Earl" out of my head.