Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I'm speechless. Well, not really.

Dear Anonymous Emailer,
 
I'm a sarcastic person by nature. I can understand that sometimes that isn't translated very well on my blog. Did you get that? MY blog. I assume that everyone who reads what I write knows what sarcasm is and how it's used. I assume everyone knows there may be a "bad" word (or three) in my posts. I assume that we can all be an adult and understand that everyone has different thoughts and ideas. I've assumed wrong.
 
If you feel like I'm a horrible person for making fun of those people native to the state in which I currently reside, fine. Stop reading my blog RIGHT NOW, drive your uptight ass down here, and see if you can muddle your way through their nonsense. I dare you. Those posts are supposed to be humorous. This is obviously another personality trait you lack. That makes two if you need me to count them for you... 1. Sarcasm. 2. Humor. Need me to keep going?
 
If you think I'm promoting drinking and drugs (to kids- where the hell that came from, I'll never know) by telling you people that I have a glass (or bottle) of champagne and a muscle relaxer (or two) to help me sleep some nights, then you fall off a building, break a large percentage of the bones in your body, and then try to lead a somewhat normal life. By the way, remember that commercial from the '80's when the Dad catches the kid doing drugs? Remember what the kid said? "I learned it from watching you." Chances are, your kids are learning their bad habits from you, not me. Where do you think I learned how to drink and curse? That's right...my Mama. She's damn proud of it too.
 
And speaking of...if you think I curse like a sailor, well, then, you're correct. If you have a problem with that, stop fucking reading my damn blog. I don't criticize your obviously fake, 24/7 sunshine and rainbows blog. I don't like yours, so guess what? I don't read it. You don't like mine? Stop fucking reading it.  
 
I didn't start my blog so you could read it. I started my blog so I could bitch about my life. If you happened to stumble across it, fine. Keep on stumbling right on over to the next one. I don't need your bullshit. I have enough of my own, thankyouverymuch.
 
Sincerely,
An obviously drugged out, alcoholic, broken-down, hypocritical (my fave), horrible role model.
 
Oh, by the way... kiss it, bitch.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know which blog you write, obviously, but right on! It is yours to write, and if others don't agree, they don't have to read it. I know you just said as much, but I'm on my hundredth cup of coffee, and can't escape "Go, Diego, Go," so commenting on this site is keeping me sane. So I thank you for the diversion :-)

Awesome Alicia said...

you go girl! ha I stumbled across your blog & continue to read it because I find it funny & real which is hard to find in blogs since most blogs are about cheesy happiness and loving life and yada yada. so thank you.

Karen W said...

You go, girl!

Sheila said...

I want to read your blog...send me an email with a link.
I also want to know the blog the commentor writes so I am sure to avoid it.

Sheila said...

I want your blog url because it sounds great. I also need the other so I can avoid it.

The Wife said...

She's not as "anonymous" as she wants to think. She obviously hasn't read my blog for very long or she'd know I'm a world class stalker. She lives in my Hometown, so the chance of her finding any blogs not associated with "our" circle of friends is unlikely...

that girl said...

sooo, are we gonna know what blogs to decide to follow or avoid?

Rachael said...

Good for you. I could almost hear the big exhale after that post - Whew, got it all out! As I read more blogs, I'm amazed at the comments people will leave, rather than simply NOT READING and moving on to some other blog. I'm going to smile all day enjoying your vent. Hope it felt good!

The Twin Spinner said...

I hate sunshine and rainbows blogs! But I totally want to read yours.