Thursday, April 29, 2010
For shit I hit with my car backing out of the garage. Period.
I *do not* routinely check underneath or behind my car before getting into it and driving away. I was educated at a state school in Florida, not by the g-damn Secret Service. If I could carry a gun, then maybe I would…nah, I still wouldn’t do it.
So, beware! Golf clubs, step ladders, tools, helmets, balls, spray cans, garbage, dumbbells, midgets, deer and unicorns – I will run over you!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
For the past year we have had a great time together. We had date nights, you liked the same thing i was into, we cared about each other, and the sex was fantastic! So help me understand why you have to be such a dumbass? I have loved you more than anyone in my life; and you pissed it all away! I haven't heard from you in just shy of 2 weeks; all over a fight and pride. Well I am sorry, but you are almost thirty, you need to grow up... take the nipple out of your mouth, and become a man. You live at home, you work for your parents, and you can't even drive a car! What do you want me to say? Especially when you start the fight with me. All b/c you won't drive, and I get annoyed with it. Hello?! I am your girlfriend... not your mom!
I love you; but I don't want a guy with a petter-pan complex in the long run. Soulmate or no. You want to live in some kind of dream world and hide from the real one. I work hard, I am independent, and ambitious, and you have the nerve to say it's a bad thing? That your looser way of life is better b/c you have no "wants" in life? WTF?! I am sorry to inconvience you with with my plans for my life, at least i have some. Not all of us want to do "nothing" in life.
So now we are not talking; both of us have too much pride I guess. I am not going to chase you. I am not going to beg. I am done trying. The thing that really pisses me off is I can't get you off my mind. I really have it bad for you, and I don't even now why. So if you can dismiss me after all of the wonderful things we have had together, then Fuck You doll.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
In the past three weeks I have had my house broken into, and had to rush halfway across the country because my family was worried that my grandfather was dying. Then my aunt and I spent 5 days taking 12 hour shifts at his bedside because the rest of the family had worn themselves down from doing it and were in bed sick. Then while I was there my doctor calls me and tells me I need to have a biopsy done to make sure I don't have cancer. I finally make it home after fighting to keep my grandfather alive and then my sweet little dog gets out of the backyard and goes missing. I then find out the next day that she was hit by a car. After I spent 24 panicked hours trying to find out if she was ok and where she was and finally get her home I let you know. You then reply that I should come over to your house because "you are stressed and need attention". Really?! YOU are stressed? I can't imagine why! You seem to have pretty much checked out while I was going through all this, so WHAT could you POSSIBLY be stressed about?!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
And truly, your brother and I were so excited when you said you wanted to come visit us for your vacation. We haven't seen anyone in three months, having moved 12 hours away from, well, pretty much everybody we know. Your nephew and nieces were terribly excited, too - they love to see their uncle! He's so fun! He reads stories and plays and treats them like people, not just annoyances.
But you brought your friend. The lush. The dude that your brother dislikes for being a total a-hole to you on a regular basis for the last, oh, ten years or so. And he slept on my floor for five days. And told me about his sexual exploits with his ex-girlfriend. And, oh yeah, completely ignored the fact that my kids lived here and acted like they were jerks for wanting to do the same thing they do every morning EVER, FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS (watch PBS, by the way) because he was too busy SLEEPING OFF HIS HANGOVER. One day, your brother got up for work at the same time you two were getting in in the morning. Seriously? But again, it's your vacation, I'll bite my tongue, and hope you have a great vacation.
I thought I'd gotten over it until I heard that you took off for another night out with this SAME LUSH this week and were gone for two days. Really? How did work like that? How'd your three kids like that? Hope you make it home in time for the Easter Egg Hunt on Sunday, jerk. Oh, and btw, Grandma's sister died. Your mom's been trying to get ahold of you, but for some reason, you haven't been returning her calls. You might want to call Grandma.